(Closed) I can’t be a bridesmaid….’cause I’m married?!!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m sorry. Have you tried talking to them and see if there is any way for you to be there for the bride on her big day?

Post # 4
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hey I don’t blame you for being upset.  I’m a bit confused as to why he thinks it’s OK to have your husband but not you?  Is it because his wedding party will be uneven?  Either way it’s your friends job to choose her bridesmaids, not the grooms.


It sounds like you’re very close to this girl, why not arrange a lunch and speak to her about it?  Keeping this to yourself would probably breed resentment as the wedding comes closer.

Keep us posted!

Post # 5
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It might be her way of letting you down easy.. maybe for whatever reason she’s decided she doesn’t want you to be in the wedding (maybe she decided she’d rather have a different friend instead) and she doesn’t feel comfortable being honest with you so she made up a silly excuse to explain it away.

Post # 6
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

That’s nuts! I have seen many, many married couples as part of the wedding party. For example, my niece had her brother and his wife in the wedding party and the husband was a Groomsmen and the wife was a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Plus if matched up properly, you could be paired with your husband during the recessional. Personally, I think something else is going on here.

Post # 7
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Um, that’s weird and kind of silly.

Why can’t you just walk down together and then re-arrange order in the front of the church? or walk separately and wink at each other once you’re both in front?

Post # 8
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That’s really silly! My sister and Brother-In-Law are in our wedding party, but she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor and he’s a Groomsmen, so they won’t be walking together. I don’t think it’s weird at all!

Post # 9
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had a married couple in our wedding party. . I just said as long as your ok with not being partners for walking in the reception. They were fine with it. weird how they would see that as an issue.

Post # 10
33 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

I see no problem with it.  My sister is married and is my Maid/Matron of Honor.  However, she will be walking with my FI’s best friend.  Her husband is an usher.  They are fine with it.

Post # 11
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If they actually wanted you in the wedding, then they should have asked and left that decision up to you.

Post # 12
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally agree with @MaggieGirl, actually that was my first thought. It’s such a dumb reason that doesn’t make any sense clearly this is a possibility. It sounds like the bride doesn’t actually want you in her wedding party and felt like she had to come up with an excuse so you wouldn’t get mad, which of course just made you more mad than if she hadn’t said anything. Sorry 🙁

Post # 13
16191 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Ouch! I’m sorry this happened. I don’t blame you for being upset.

Post # 14
1020 posts
Bumble bee

even though it is up to the couple to decide, but i don’t see why married women can’t be bridesmaids. all 3 of my bridesmaids are married, but i’d rather have people who i am close to be my bridesmaids rather than having friends who aren’t as close.

Post # 15
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

That is the most unreasonable things I’ve heard regarding excuses! I am sorry your friends feel that way!

Post # 16
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

That stinks.  Why don’t they just have the groomsmen standing at the front already and have the BMs walk in themselves?  Then you wouldn’t be paired at all.

This is hard because it’s a fine line between demanding to be in the wedding party and being given a halfa$$ed excuse why you’re not in it.  Hmm…maybe ask her what she thinks of her FH’s opinion?  Maybe she doesn’t agree?  If she does, I don’t think you can argue.  They’re entitled to their opinion.

The topic ‘I can’t be a bridesmaid….’cause I’m married?!!’ is closed to new replies.

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