(Closed) I can’t believe I said that! I am such a b****h!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you have her email address, I would send her a quick note to apologize again and say that you totally put your foot in your mouth and hope you didn’t offend her. Then let it go – bringing it up after that will only make it worse. Or, you could tell the friend that brought her that you feel awful and mistakenly assumied it was a promise ring since she referred to her SO as her boyfriend all night. And hope that your friend conveys your regrets.

Post # 4
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d just apologize and tell her how awful you feel but that you didn’t realize she was engaged because she referred to her “boyfriend”. It’s an honest mistake but I’m sure her feelings were hurt. A little bit of kindness & humility from you would probably go a long way with her now.

Post # 5
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Yikes yeah, you are LOL!

I would apologize in email or person if you see her, then drop it. Just call it word vomit πŸ˜€

Post # 6
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would definitely ask your friend to pass along an apology. I would lean heavily on the fact that she just kept calling him her boyfriend.

Don’t you hate it when you say stupid stuff? πŸ™

Post # 7
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

 I would lean heavily on the fact that you had had obviously a glass (sip?) too many and how awful you feel for making an incorrect assumption. Pass  it along through your friend or shoot the girl an email yourself.

Next social outing you have that’s similar have your friend make sure to invite her, and then DON’T SAY ANYTHING STUPID THIS TIME. lol. πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I probably would have made the same assumption if she had been referring to her fiance as her boyfriend all night.  You probably should apologize again, but after this not say anything more about it.  Next time you’re in that kind of situation, I’m sure you’ll handle it differently, and all of us stick our foots in it everything once in a while, so don’t beat yourself up to badly about it.

 

Post # 9
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

People say offensive things without meaning to all the time, but unfortunately that doesn’t make them any less offensive. I know that when I get a ring, I don’t particularly WANT it to be big. And while I’m prepared for the occasional comment, I’m sure it will still hurt.

However, the fact that you feel so bad about it and obviously DIDN’T mean it to come off like that means a lot. If you were actually a snob you wouldn’t be apologetic about it. I think she understands that at least a little bit, especially since she wasn’t referring to him as her fiance.

If you want to make things right with this girl and want to make things right, maybe invite her along to some more (unintoxicated) girl time. I don’t think you have to continually say how sorry you are-that would probably just make it more awkward- but let your normal, non-snobbish personality shine through. Who knows, maybe you could even talk wedding stuff? It’s always good to have a planning buddy.

 

Post # 10
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

Innocent mistake.  I know that when I’ve been drinking sometimes I say things that I know are incorrect, but they still come out of my mouth. It’s like my brain is in slow motion and my mouth is normal speed.  Hopefully she understands! 

Like the others have sad, maybe phoning her up and apologizing again would be good.  But don’t make it embarassingly over-the-top. (Embarassing for her, I mean.  If that makes sense.)  Like, heartfelt, but simple.  You could maybe make the call not just about apologizing, but thanking her for coming over and saying how glad you were to meet her.  You know, throw some positive in with the negative.

Post # 12
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Aww, it sounds like it was a completely innocent comment. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe buy her a latte and just apologize again πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was all set to be all “damn, Ms. Snobby!!” but you’re being so sweet and apologetic about it I just want to give you a hug.  I’m sure she will too.  πŸ™‚  Just apologize again and mention that she kept referring to her Fiance and her boyfriend, then let it go (that way there’s an explanation along with the apology.) 

I’m sure it’ll be fine.  πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think that if you wanted to send her an email or FB apology – it would be nice, but its totally not necessary. She kind of set herself up by saying “Wow your diamond is so much bigger!” What were you supposed to say? I found myself in the same situation the other day – my married friend was looking at my e-ring and commented on how much bigger my diamond is than hers. I think I said something like “Uh… yes I guess!”

It sucks feeling like a bitch – but just the fact that you’re so worried about this shows how nice you actually are!!

Post # 15
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would personally apologize to her again, (email/call/card) or something.  Focus on her, congradulate her on her engagement, ask details.  Swap wedding ideas and be involved, maybe you can help her and suggest venues, pricing and all that good stuff.  She’ll feel that you are sincere and def going out of your way.

Post # 16
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that because you feel badly shows you’re not a B but just said the wrong thing. If you really were a B. you wouldn’t be giving it a second thought. I would just send her an e-mail apologizing again, for having your foot in your mouth. that you were caught off guard by her comment, thought she had been talking about her b/f, and I’m sure the wine had some play in it.

 

 

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