Post # 1
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
I went home last weekend to visit my parents, and since my bedroom was occupied by my fiance, I got to sleep on the couch. In the mornings, my dad goes out for a jog early and my mom usually wakes up pretty early and is doing stuff out in the kitchen. Needless to say, since there is noise and lights being turned on I wake up.
My dad comes in after his jog and says to my mom, “Mogget needs to get on WW or something. She hasn’t done a damn thing since the beginning of summer. She needs to lose weight. Lots of it.”
My mom then informs him that at that point I’ve lost a little under 20 pounds. His reply?
“Well, she needs to lose about four times that much. If Mr. Mogget takes another look at her, there won’t be a wedding.”
Bees, I’m still so upset about it. I can’t believe my father was saying those kinds of things. I’ve been working really hard, but it’s not all just falling off super fast. My dad used to be really overweight and lost it all, so I thought he would understand how hard it is. I’m just really hurt that he would imply that my fiance wouldn’t want to marry me if I’m overweight; like a person has no worth if they’re not thin and attractive.
I guess I’m just really hurt, that’s all. It’s hard to get stuff like this out of my mind, but I’m going to make the best out of this situation and use it as fuel for the fire- it’s going to just be more motivation.
Post # 3
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: January 2011 - Gardens of the World
That’s horrible of him to say that 🙁 really nasty actually. Im so sorry. Stay strong, what he says about you doesnt define you and doesn’t make you any less beautiful. And Im sure Mr. Mogget would agree with me.
Post # 4
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
I am so sorry. After cooling off I would tell my parents that I heard their convo and it hurt me. Turn that into motivation and keep up the good work. Losing almost 20 pounds is great!
Post # 5
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee
1 – I would have stood up and told him to F-off right then, so good work on not doing that, it may have caused problems.
2 – I’m almost just as enraged that your mother wasn’t enraged at what he said. Uncool behavior deserves a harsher retort.
3 – Men always lose weight faster than women. Always always. They have higher metabolism and they simply need less fat so when they start exercising and watching what they eat, the weight falls off much faster than it does on us. We’re supposed to carry babies and such with it.
4 – I’d b*tch slap him myself. I’ve always struggled with my weight and you know, nobody really truly understands what my personal struggle is like. Yes, my parents have both been overweight in the past. Their issues are nothing like mine and although they mean well ultimately, they don’t understand at all what I’m dealing with/going through/feeling, etc. If you do approach him, just let him know that your Fiance loves you, no matter what your shape and while it’s great that he’s now a marathon-running superman, your weight and your life are your own business and not his. You don’t appreciate the rude comments about something that is so completely not of his concern and you’d thank him to not compare your situation with his own.
Honestly it sounds like your dad is getting an ego boost off of knowing that he’s soooo much better at losing weight, being thin, and getting fit than you. It’s one of those things where usually mother’s compete with their daughters when they’re insecure. It’s weird for it to be a father, but it seems like that’s the case here.
Post # 6
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
That’s awful! I think you should tell your dad that you heard what he said and thought that he of all people should understand what you’re going through. Maybe it will make him remember that losing weight didn’t just happen overnight for him either.
Your fiance loves you no matter what, and shame on your dad for thinking you have any reason to doubt that.
Post # 7
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
Thank you guys for this support! It really means a lot to hear all these encouraging words.
I’m going home next weekend, and I think I’m going to confront him then.
Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
That is absolutely awful. You do not deserve to hear something like that and no parent should talk about their child like that.
Post # 9
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
you have to say something. Be strong girl! remember Mr Moggett loves you for who you are 🙂
Post # 10
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
I’m sorry. I know how hurtful comments like that can be. I too have struggled with weight issues. You should have a talk with your parents and let them know how you feel.
It sounds like you are doing great seeing as how you’ve lost 20lbs! You should be VERY proud of yourself! That’s wonderful! Also, I wouldn’t worry about Mr. Moggett. He asked you to marry him because he loves you for you exactly the way you are. 🙂
Post # 11
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
I just wanted to chime in here and echo what the others have said: that was an awful thing to say AND also it sounds to me like he’s projecting. You know how when people are critical of others it turns out that the issue they’re talking about is their own? Yyyyeah that’s what this sounds like.
Post # 12
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
I’d have to say that it’s really unacceptable for your father to speak about you that way.I feel terrible for you. I really do, because you are in a situation where, it’s your father so I’m sure you don’t want an issue with him but what was said was just not okay in any sense of the word. I honestly think you should talk to him and let him know you heard him and how it made you feel.
I maybe take to this personally because I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I never allowed someone to talk about me (if I was made aware) or to me in that negative of a way. You are not any less beautiful just because you may be overweight. I am not ashamed of the fact that I am in a size 20 right now, am I happy about it umm NO, however, I’ve had 2 children and a lot of stress the past few years. I am now on WW and plan to lose (hopefully) 50lbs by my wedding which is planned for May of 2012. But, no one I mean NO ONE has the right to make judgement on you, your relationship or your worth simply because you are not a size 2.
I wish you the very best and I hope that you continue your journey to a healthier you, whether that be at your current size or a smaller just as beautiful version of you! Good Luck!
Post # 13
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I would have flipped the EFF off! It’s not easy for women to lose weight! We all know men can effing lose 10 pounds in a week from just cutting out effing soda and skipping lunch! (HELLO! My boyfriend has lost 20 pounds in 2 months from giving up Pepsi! WTF!) I am so sorry you had to hear that. You should def say something about it, because holding it in will make you angry, bitter,and depressed. Usually that stuff leads to eating disorders.
To even say that about your Fiance is crazy! Your Fiance is with you NOW! If he wasn’t attracted to you, he wouldn’t be with you! Keep that in mind! Love yourself first! Once you love the body you have now, you’ll be able to make changes easier.
Post # 14
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
Wait, what? I just looked at your previous posts… So you’re a size 10, 5’8″, and 130-140 lbs (sounds about perfect to me – tall and a healthy weight)… Saw a picture, and you look on the slightly thin side of normal, even in a winter coat. And your dad just said you need to lose 60 lbs??? If you lost more than 20 lbs from here out, you would be at a very unhealthy weight. 118 is the minimum healthy weight for my height, and I’m 5’2″. Sorry, but your dad is seriously deluded.
