(Closed) I can't believe she just did that! (LONG RANT!)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have to say that if someone doesn’t want someone at their wedding, they should have the right to do that.  If S really did do somethign terrible he hasn’t apologized for yet, then maybe he shouldn’t be invited.  I don’t know, I’m not here to judge that.  I did want to say that although that was very long, I did read it lol.. and I also think D bluffing is just going to piss G off even more.  What’s wrong with a very mature conversation?  Why don’t you just call G yourself and explain to her VERY nicely that S had a problem that he’s resolved and then tell S to call and apologize for whatever it is he did?  Everyone should just be an adult and mature about it and be honest. 

Post # 5
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Wow, that is nuts!  First off, hearing from your cousin that G didn’t want your brother there because he couldn’t afford presents makes it seem all the more like her disinviting your brother over past actions was just an excuse.  Is there no way that D can stand up to G and get S back into the wedding (I agree with you that this is not a great way for him to start off after just getting sober), even if not as a groomsman?  Hope things work out for you and your family in the best possible way!!

Post # 6
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

hmmm i dunno. I may play devils advocate. Imagine if he relapsed and was completely intoxicated at the wedding? That would be good for no one. 

But at the same time i can see why she should give him a chance to prove himself.  BUt he hasn’t been sober that long. 

I dunno. It should have been D’s decision in the end to disinvite him. 

Thats just a crappy situation!!

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It would be helpful to know what S did to G and D that was G is so angry about, and the timing as well. Did whatever S did to piss her off take place after the invitations went out? I mean, if he did something really awful to her or D, and he hasn’t apologized, I can sort of understand why she wouldn’t want him there. Without knowing the details, I can’t tell if G is just a straight up bitch, or if she has a point that you can’t see.

Her comment about S not coming because he doesn’t have money for a present was really bitchy, but I don’t see why her exchanging presents was so awful.

Anyways, it doesn’t sound like D wants to risk pissing G off, so if you want a relationship with him, you’re kind of stuck.

Post # 9
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Read the whole thing. Now if G initially stated she didn’t want S at the wedding because of something he did and hadn’t apologized for, I could understand that. But it looks like the first thing she said was that he cannot afford presents. Quite frankly, that’s insulting. However, she does have the right to choose who she wants at the wedding but it is up to your cousin to decide if he wants to go to bat for S about it. I can understand your frustration. Your cousin definitely needs your support and maybe you two should try to think of ways to appease her rather than doing something that will further anger her.

Post # 12
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, she might just be a bitch then. I agree from what you’ve said nothing he’s done is worth a family fued over (unless he did something while stoned that you didn’t mention)- unfortunately, sounds like D isn’t going to risk upsetting G, so that route is out. Has S considered apologizing to G? Is D waiting for an apology as well?

ETA:

Based on your last update, she’s on her own then. If she invited him and nothing has changed since then, she’s stuck. I mean, you can’t force her to change her mind but she’s clearly in the wrong.

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LiliKitty:  So she just decided to change her mind AFTER she sent the invites and used incidents that happened BEFORE she even sent out the invites? Then she further adds insult to injury by stating she doesn’t want him there because “he won’t be able to afford a present”. Maybe she is under a lot of stress but its not fair to rescind an invite unless you have a really good reason. I think following @Tatum’s suggestion is a great idea. Wishing you and your family the best!

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