Post # 1
My fiance and I live in the UK, and we have the option to hold our ceremony & reception in the UK, or in my hometown in the US. Both locations are beautiful and desirable for a wedding, although one is sunny and the other overcast.
I have been looking at costs . . . and it appears that things may be slightly cheaper in the US, especially because we are earning pounds. At the same time, things may be slightly more convenient in the UK because we won’t have to travel to the wedding. (However, finding a church that will work with us in the UK has been another issue entirely, and has not been convenient yet!)
I can’t even narrow it down to which country, and I’m feelng overwhelmed by options. I feel pressure from my family to have it in the US, and pressure from his family to have it in the UK. All of these pressures are making it really difficult to know what I actually want.
My Fiance is wonderful, because he told me he wasn’t going to tell me his thoughts or wishes — he wants me just to have some time to think to myself and see what is on my heart without him influncing me.
For those of you who looked at multiple locations for your wedding . . . how did you decide? What factors should I consider? I am just feeling so weak and confused at this point. I want to stand up for what my Fiance and I would like, but I don’t even know what I want at this point.
Post # 3
Honestly, I think it would be so awesome to have my wedding in a different country (meaning UK). But that’s my personal belief. I’m having a Destination Wedding, but I’m not sure if it’ll be in Vegas or on a cruise. FI and I plan to sit down and weigh out the pros and cons of each. We have to decide what’s more pratical for us.
That’s the only advice I truly have. It’s a really hard decision. Good luck!
Post # 4
We chose to get married in his church in Haiti versus my hometown in the States because it would be impossible for his family to travel to the States for our wedding. While my extended family can’t afford to come for the wedding, my immediate family will all be here. We’re having our ceremony and reception this December and when we visit my family this summer, we’ll have a reception of sorts there for those who couldn’t be with us in Haiti.
I guess if it’s equally convenient (or inconvenient) for both families to travel, you should just choose the location you want for the ceremony, but I’d suggest having a reception in the other place to make everyone feel included.
Post # 5
Our original plan was to have our wedding in Hawaii, fly to Asia (where he is from) and have another wedding of some kind there and then fly back to my hometown on the east coast and have a reception there. It was turning into a circus. We picked Hawaii because its directly between his home and mine. In the end, we decided to move our wedding back to my hometown on the east coast, which made sense as my parents are hosting, and then my family will fly to Korea a few months later for something there. That made the most sense to us. I never wanted to have a destination wedding and when we realized that having it in Hawaii wasn’t going to make it much easier for fiance’s family, we moved it back home.
Post # 6
we faced a similar, but lest vast dilemma. we live together in los angeles, met and fell in love in new orleans (he is a native), and i moved around alot but mostly grew up in new york. i struggled with la vs nola vs a beach somewhere, but we decided to get married in new orleans. that was what we would thought would be the most fun for us and our guests, it was sortof (not really)equidistant, and we felt like it balanced the amount of travelling people have to do (my bachelorette is in palm springs, his is vegas, we are going to ny for the holidays).
then my brother decided to get married in san francisco 6 weeks before our wedding, and there went the plan lol.
Post # 7
We looked at convenience for our guests. All of my family is in the US, DH’s immediate family and all his friends are in Australia, and the rest of his family is in the UK. I have a large, close knit family, whereas his is quite small – I knew nearly everyone from my family would consider my wedding a priority, whereas family events are not as huge of a priority for his family. I also looked at finances – his family is quite well off and would be able to travel quite easily, but with a lot of my extended family, travelling out of country would make things quite difficult.
In the end, we looked at the UK, Australia, and the US but it made the most sense for the majority of our guests, for us, and financially, to have it in the US. I will just say though that hardly anyone from DH’s extended family was able to attend – he was ok with it as they’re not all that close, but had the wedding been in England, they would have been there.
I know how hard it is and it stinks, but ultimately, you need to make the best decision for you and your FH. And as a sidenote, British weddings are quite different from American weddings so you might want to think about what kind of wedding you are envisioning and go from there. Good luck!
Post # 8
I am having 2 weddings. One for my family over here, and some of FI’s family as well. (Pretty much just parents, siblings, and a couple cousins). Then we are having a second wedding in Macedonia where as most of his family (aunts, uncles, cousins) live there or somewhere in Europe. He has relatives in Italy, Turkey, Serbia, Denmark, and Scotland. So it would be a heck of a lot easier and cheaper for those family members to make it to Macedonia rather than the US. We are taking a 10 day long honeymoon in Crete, Greece and then hanging out in Macedonia with his family for the next 2 weeks.
I’d say if this is an option to you, have 2. That way no one will feel as though they are being cheated and no one will have to travel across the pond! And you get to have 2 very lovely weddings!
Post # 9
@Ree723: Thank you for this!! Yes, good point, British weddings are totally different from US weddings. I haven’t quite wrapped my mind around it yet. I had no idea what a “wedding breakfast” was until I started looking at reception venues. I think that I probably still have no idea how many subtle and obvious differences there are. One thing that surprised me was the signing of the registry DURING the ceremony. Wow. In the US the marriage certificate is something you just pick up prior to the marriage as far as I knew.
@JM1217: Honestly, in light of all of the intense feelings about who can and can’t and might not be able to come to the wedding if we have it here or there . . . This makes SO MUCH SENSE. I can see why you came to this conlcusion. In our case, my parents will give us some financial support if we have it in the US, whereas they won’t be able to if we have it in the UK (think expensive airfare, hotels, and bad exchange rate on the dollar). This makes having the ceremony in the US desirable . . . and then perhaps we can come back and have a big UK reception a few months later. This option seems to click with my Fiance as well, so hopefully it works out for us.
Post # 10
@Miss Mochaccino: I have a question, are you both UK citizens, US citizens, or mixed? Have you checked into all the legalities of the weddings and how long that will all take? Now, I have no experience on the issue, just purely curious.
Post # 11
@tksjewelry: We’re mixed! My Fiance is an EU citizen (not British) and I’m a US citizen. 🙂 He’s already spoken with a tax lawyer . . . and it looks like regardless of where we have our ceremony, our “legal marriage” will be registered in the UK to prevent him from certain tax complications of having it registered in the US.
Post # 12
Although our two locations were not as extreme as yours, 8 hours diffierence. We looked at venues in both locations and ultimately our decision was based upon who’s family was more likely to travel for the wedding.
We both felt his extended family would be more open and have the financial means to travel for a wedding whereas mine would not.
Another thing to consider for you if you have it in the US is how plausiable would it be to visit venues? It was hard enough for us to find time to visit venues 8 hours away.
GL! It is a hard decision. Once you make it, stick to your guns.
Post # 13
@regberadaisy: Another good point! With respect to the venues I’d be using in the US . . . the church is one I attended when I lived in the US. . . .and the reception venue is one I’ve been to before and have strong ties to .. . so I’m happy with both already, really. In the UK, it’s more a matter of starting from scratch since i’m rather new here, although it is advantageous to be able to go places in person. yes, those are definitely things to think about from a practical standpoint, thanks!!
Post # 14
Have some form of a wedding in both countries! Is that possible?
I just had my ” U.S” marriage [legal, religious & ceremony-nothing outragous], but I still need to get legally married in Argentina. I will be having a civil ceremony with celebration with my Husbands Argentine family within a year or so.