Post # 1
We are in our early 30s and have been together for 4 years married a month. My husband says he doesn’t care when we start trying. But I can’t decide!
We want to build a new house and sell mine. But I don’t want to be prego or have a newborn with such a stressful move. He is gone 3-4 days a week for work so it puts a lot of stress on me. Plus I’d like to travel a little more before we have babies and can’t leave them at home.
Then there’s the age factor. I’m already 32 and if I want more than one before I’m 40 then I need to get busy.
How did some of you decide?
Post # 3
We actually put age first. I am 31 and he is 34. Yes, I am in school, and yes we have 2 mortgages (we own 2 condos) but we relized financially we may never feel “ready.” He makes good money, and we both want a baby! It’s the right time for us.
Post # 4
yep pretty much the same here. We wanted to wait at least one year after getting married to have our first. We officially starte trying about 1 month before though, so we didn’t quite make it 🙂
We are just now paying off our credit card debt so financially we’ll be in a great position. We’ve done a little travel and we both really just felt ready for a baby. Well, we don’t feel READY yet I guess (is anyone ever?), but we feel like our desire for a baby now outweighs any feelings we have about putting the baby off for another year or two.
Post # 5
I don’t know that the house is necessarily a big deal (people move with newborns a lot–you may just have to think about paying for movers to do it since your husband is out of town so much) but if you want to travel, do it! Put a couple trips on the calendar and GO. Otherwise you will regret not being able to do it and you’ll put it off even longer. I know people say nobody is ever ready, but I don’t know if i necessarily believe that because my parents always told me they were ready and did everything they wanted to do before they decided to TTC but i get the feeling they were a rarity. I think you can have your cake and eat it too, basically. You may just have to have them a little closer together if you start at say, 35. My brother and i were only 18 months apart–you don’t have to have one at 35 and one at 40 necessarily to have more than one kid!
My parents built their own home and it does take a lot of time, though!!!! Especially if you don’t rush the process. I remember them picking out things like door knobs, toilet seats, cabinets, cabinet handles, i mean, every stinkin’ little detail!!
Post # 6
we just both felt like we were ready, and then we talked about if it could actually happen. my husband went to a financial advisor and said we would be fine, i wasn’t working so we decided i’d be able to stay not working for a few different reasons, and that was pretty much it. we want to move, and like you said it would be great to get it done before the baby, but it’s not first on my list. i’ve already traveled a lot, but i’d always like to travel more. my parents never started traveling really before they had children, and now they travel like crazy, so i’m not really worried about that. although i do want to take a babymoon!
Post # 7
I always say that if you wait for the perfect time, it will never happen! There will always be something that makes you wait. If I were you, I think we would just stop preventing. Not necessarily “try”, but don’t stop it either and see what happens. If you don’t get pregnant after awhile, you may realize that you really do want it now, or that you don’t really care if it is right away. I didn’t really have a choice as my son was an oops, but it all works out! Good luck!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
I think the traveling thing could be an endless deterrent. I definitely see taking one last trip as the two of you, but travel in general? The world is huge and you could go years and years and not see everything. I think ultimately you decide what’s more important.
My parents didn’t go to Europe till my mom’s 50th birthday – I was in college. Different priorities.
Post # 9
@Rosiegirl- I think you might have the answer for me! Just don’t try to prevent it. And what happens happens.
I think I’m ready most of the time but then I second guess things.
Post # 10
I’m actually hoping that we move while I’m pregnant so I don’t have to help lift anything heavy lol! We don’t plan on trying for another 4 years, but every time we move I think about how being preggo would get me out of the heavy lifting. Good luck trying to decide.
Post # 11
I think starting to think about it is the best thing. We are going to start TTC during the honeymoon. He’s 40, I’ll be 30. The specific reason for the timing is his age and we pretty much decided last summer. So all of this year I’ve had time to kind of prepare myself, thinking “This is one of the last times I’ll be able to sleep in on the weekend.” “I better love this glass of wine because I won’t be drinking for awhile.” Even just picturing how work will be different or evenings at home…
But the result is that I feel kind of prepared and I’m starting to get really excited! You will still be able to do things with kids, just not right away.
Post # 12
@Vintage…we’ve got sooo much in common. I got married one week after you and I’m 32 also (33 this summer). I stopped the pill right after our honeymoon (4 weeks ago) and we’re not trying, but we aren’t “not” trying either..I could get pregnant (obviously). We both are wanting to pay off debt and save, save, save…but on the other hand (due to my age mainly) we hope to get pregnant soon. Some days I want to get pregnant NOW and other days I hope that I don’t get pregnant for 6 months. LOL Either way, I hope to be pregnant in the next year! Good luck. 🙂
Post # 13
We ultimately decided we were “ready” with age being an important factor. Married for a year, age 32, I was hoping to not have to deal with fertility issues which do start to really increase in your 30s (although plenty of people easily get preggers in their late 30s! I know a lot of them!)
Last week I spoke with a woman who got married early 30s, waited to 35 TTC and got pregnant first try. But when she tried again a couple years later for a second, she was really low on eggs- tried IVF, with no luck and then literally had run out of eggs. She said you can get tested to see how many you have left- but just know that waiting *could* make it harder later on…if babies are important, just weigh that against all the other stuff you have going on in life – you are probably more likely to regret having waited and not able to get pregnant than regretting becoming a mom sooner 🙂