(Closed) I can’t do this…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you gone to a planned parenthood yet? They’ll be able to provide you with some information and some counseling if you need it. This is a tough decision and a professional could really help you, even if you have already made a firm decision. I wish you peace

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with ejs, you should really consider going to PP to talk to one of the women that works there. They’ll be able to give you all the information you need, and they’ll be able to do it kindly.

I also found this site: http://www.afterabortion.com/; it seems like it has a neutral stance on the politics of the issue, and it looks like a good place for support.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you find all the support and information you need!

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would suggest calling planned parenthood and talking to them about what to expect. depending on the state you live in, counseling might be required. the type of abortion is usually determined by how far along you are. if it’s early, they might just give you a pill and tell you to go home and stay in bed. if you have to have the surgical procedure, they give you a lot of anesthesia (i don’t know if it’s local or general) and you should feel better by the next day.

i’m so sorry you have to go through this. remind yourself that you’re making the best decision for yourself and your family. 

also, some states will make you look at the ultrasound. hopefully you won’t have to, but i would check the laws of your state to be prepared. planned parenthood will be able to tell you.

Post # 6
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’ve never had an abortion so I can’t give you the advice you’re looking for, I just wanted to let you know that I’m very sorry for what you’re going through right now. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for this very difficult decision you’re having to make. 

Post # 7
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I can see both sides of this. One the one hand, you did EVERYTHING to prevent this pregnancy, yet it still happened, doens’t that tell you this fetus is supposed to be here?

On the other hand, at least you can recognize that you are not capable of following through with the pregnancy. I have not been through this before myself, but I have a friend that has had 4 abortions and after each one she returned to work that day like nothing had ever happened. How does the father feel about it?

Post # 8
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@KaitlinHudson:did you miss the part where OP said she already made the decision?

Post # 9
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have a couple questions:

1) what is the father’s involvement/knowledge?
2) what led you to this particular option?

(it will help us see where you are coming from/give us a little more background info)

I know this can’t be easy for you. I’m sorry you are facing such a difficult situation.

Post # 10
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@UserInHiding: PP is a good place to start. When I was pregnant I went the abortion route and PP helped me through a lot of it. In the end I didn’t do it, but I will always remember how calm and caring PP was to me.

Depending on how far along you are, they will either suggest surgical or the pill. I hear the pill is much worse because it basically forces you to miscarriage and it takes up to a week while you are in pain. With surgical they give you a local and you are in and out in probably less than 2 hours.

Don’t let anyone pressure you into making a life long choice such as this. You are aware of your life situation and you are not being selfish by not wanting to bring a baby into a bad situation. *hugs* 

Post # 12
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@kitzy:No I did not and I’m sorry my post upset you.

Post # 13
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh honey.  I’m so sorry that you’re going through this–I can’t even imagine what a difficult decision you’ve made, especially given the fact that you do someday want to be a mother.  It WILL be okay.  You have to trust yourself.  Call Planned Parenthood and go talk to someone about how to proceed, and then I absolutely recommend counseling for a little while so that you can deal with whatever feelings you’re having about the situation.  No matter that this is the right decision for you, it’s an incredibly difficult and emotional thing to go through–counseling will help so that you can move on and later, when you’re ready, welcome a child into the world.  I wish you all the best, and please know that there are a lot of people who support you.  <3

Post # 14
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Please make sure you have a good, strong support system that you can turn to if you need to. There are several different types of abortions, each with their own pros/cons, which your doctor (or Planned Parenthood) will be able to tell you about so you make the decision that is best for you.

For the how you feel after, both physically and emotionally — that differs a bit from woman to woman. For some women, it will be lifechanging, for others, it won’t be. Whatever you feel, you shouldn’t make yourself feel guilty or ashamed about your decision. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel, and you know if you’ve made the best decision given everything that’s going on at this point in your life. Do not listen to people who try to make you feel like a terrible person, you’re not a terrible person at all.

I would suggest taking a couple days off from work/school, if you can afterwards, so that if you just want to sleep or chill or whatever, you can do so.

PM me if you would like to talk further, or have a specific question. Wish you peace.

Post # 15
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

one word of caution: planned parenthoods tend to have a lot of protestors on saturdays. if that’s something that might make it harder for you to go in, i would suggest going on a weekday.

Post # 16
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@UserInHiding: A medical abortion (ie the pill where it is basically a period) can only be used until week 9. After that, it is a surgical abortion. You need to contact them ASAP – it can take time to get in to see the doctor, so you need to call immediately. Every day that passes at this point makes a difference! Hang in there! (I PM’d you!)

The topic ‘I can’t do this…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors