(Closed) I can’t handle it anymore. Am I depressed or just stressed? (sorry so long!)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I think talking to a counselor would help you so so much. 

Post # 4
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@SweetRose2011: Definitely contemplate talking to some sort of professional about the amount of stress that you feel you are under. If you come to the conclusion that your relationship with your family is unsalvageable and that marriage (not a wedding) to this man is the most important thing to you I would consider eloping… much less stress about the day being disrupted by those who seek to tear you down.

Post # 5
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Missyjane’s right, honey. You’re letting everything get on top of you. Do you mind me asking how old you are? Just that this kind of issue with parents usually settles down a bit as you move into your twenties.

You don’t say whether you’re working/studying/other, have you some fulfilment in that side of your life?

And I know I’m kind of playing devil’s advocate here, but if your folks etc hadn’t shown so much hostility to your relationship, would you and your fella still be together? I mean, I’m just wondering if your relationship has been artificially strengthened, for want of a better phrase, by having to ‘rely on each other against the world’, so to speak?

Sorry if I’ve just given you more to fret about. Do try to find a way to get your own head screwed on right, rather than worrying about your man or your families.

Best of luck.

Post # 6
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I see that you are 21!

To be honest it seems like you are just coming of age and figuring out who you are? I know that you say that you and your Fiance are amazing but his comment telling you to not talk unless you have something interesting to say was a really big red flag to me!

I also think that it is a red flag when all of your family members dislike the man you plan to marry. Definitely take that into consideration.

I agree with PP that maybe counseling would help with your stress and figuring out what you want for YOU!

I wish you the best of luck!

 

Post # 8
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

Starbucks has decent medical benefits, right?  See if they will cover you to see a counselor (you may need to get a referral from your family doctor).  Seriously, I’ve had times when I’ve sounded a lot like you are sounding now, and seeing a professional to talk about it was AMAZINGLY helpful.

Post # 10
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just from what I gathered from your post is that:

you moved out when you were 18/19 then got engaged when you were 20/21 to this guy your parents hate.

You are working at Starbucks currently and in pursuit of a writing career.

And you were in high school 2 years ago.

Your family is a dysfunctional group.

You are stressed out at home, at work, with your family and with your Fiance. And you feel socially awkward.

 

Does that about sum it all up?

 

Personally I think you need a really really good counselor. Also I honestly think very few people know what they want in life this young. I know it can be hard feeling like your family and friends are against you but do try to see things from as many perspectives as possible.

Post # 11
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Most companies have Employee Assistance Plans (EAP) even for part-time employees.  I would definitely consider talking to someone.  EAPs usually offer free counseling for 5-10 visits and then transition you to insurance-covered care.  They will help you decide if you need meds.  There are lots of inexpensive generics out there.  Speaking as someone with clinical depression (and many family members with it), sometimes you just need something to get through the harder times while ALSO talking to someone to work on coping skills.  There’s no shame.  You should reach out for help.

Post # 13
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i hate to say it but maybe your family has a point they all dislike but why? maybe it’s because they see how poorly he has treated you in the past *like telling you to shut up* that’s so rude. i think i’d have to find out why they dislike him so much. if they’re just being butts i’d ignore em and if they have something profound to say i’d look at it closer talk to your cousin first maybe she could offer some insight into it all.

also seek some consueling to work on your self-esteem i’m sure you’re a great person but with all that nuttiness in your life no one can see it.

Post # 14
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

It’s true that some counselors are better than others (just like any other profession, really).  And even if they are good people, not all of them will be a good personality fit for you.  It might be worth seeing if you can get a referral to more than one, so that you can meet with both and see who you like better.  I know some insurance plans will let you do that, it’s definitely worth asking about.

Post # 15
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

also now that i’ve read the comments closer i was in your same boat not at 21 but at 18 in a lot of ways oh i thought i’d found the one we were moving to England I was going to be a photographer but he was an abusive jerk and my family couldn’t stand him either. seek therapy some how some way even with a church group or something try to get help honey you’re self esteem is probably destroyed with all of this nonsense going on. sometimes the one really isn’t the one. I later found my one *yes my real one perfect in everyway* two years later.

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