(Closed) I can’t invite a sibling I’ve never met, right?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

not exactly similar, but sorta similar experience over here….I have two half siblings…one I haven’t met, but the rest of the family has (I was at school when she came down to visit/meet my father and family) the other half sibling I have only met in person once, but have had occasional contact with over the phone and via facebook.

I am inviting both siblings to my wedding because I think it is important that they feel as much a part of my family as they can.  Both siblings grew up without my father in their life and one grew up not even knowing we existed.  I just feel like despite my father’s not being there for them they are part of my blood. 

I say if you think it’s important to invite her to your wedding you should…it could lead to her becoming a part of your life.

 

PS.

Both the siblings I have asked so far seem more than willing to come to our wedding and I hope that they will find themselves welcome and part of our family.

Post # 4
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You can totally invite her, but know, everyone reacts differently – like how you reacted when they reached out for some help from your field. It’s a VERY weird situation to know that someone related to you is out there, but you don’t know them. Biologically they are SO close to you but you don’t know a THING about them. It’s hard! (I’m adopted, so I have to go on knowing I have a bio mom, and possibly siblings, etc, out there… it’s weird!) Maybe try to get her email, and say that you are getting married and it’s made you think a lot about family, and that you wanted to start to get to know her with the hopes of having her come to the wedding, if she is comforatble. She might not respond, she might send you 100 facts about herself. Who knows! But I think if you became like “e-mail pen pals” it would be a great way to get to know one another- I don’t think 5 months is too short by any means. Go for it!

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sort of similar situation here.  Fiance has three half-siblings — his parents were both previously married to diff. people, had kids, got divorced, then married each other and had Fiance.  Fiance grew up with his mother’s son, so they’re more like “real” brothers.

His half-brother and half-sister live in Pennsylvania.  He’s only met his brother a couple of times and never met his sister.  We’re inviting both of them to the wedding.  I think his brother will come, but we’re assuming his sister probably won’t come due to issues with FI’s dad.

I don’t think it would be beyond strange to contact her, try to start a relationship, and possibly invite her to the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

I agree with pugs that it may be tough for her at first…..I think my “sister”  may have had a hard time initially because she had been on a life long search for her father (my dad) only to find out that finding him also meant she had 6 new siblings….adding her as a facebook friend has made it easier to become part of her life and to learn who she is.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Darling Husband has, oh, 5 half-siblings? We never formally ‘acknowledge’ them because he hasn’t seen them in over 10 years.

We didn’t invite them to the wedding b/c he was like, “dude…i don’t want to do that!” but if he was open to the idea, it would’ve made sense to me.

He IS facebook friends with one of them though. They look nothing alike, it’s really weird. She’s a teenager still and posts those “i think i’m HOT” type photos which is amusing.

Post # 11
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I would just start the dialogue by being honest – write her a message and explain the situation – you would love to have her at the wedding, and you would like to get to know her (if you’re ready for that, otherwise, just the latter half).  these situations can be so messy and confusing (I have a vaguely familiar situation in my life) but family is important, and if you feel a connection to her, you should go for it.  good luck!

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