(Closed) I can't keep this secret any longer…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 346
Member
6 posts
Newbee

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worthlessbee :  I just read your updates! You are strong, you are amazing! I’m so happy for you and the strength you have found!!

Post # 347
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

 

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worthlessbee :  Although you’re still unsure and scared you sound like a completely different woman since yesterday, one that seems excited for a new chance at happiness. That makes my heart happy!! One day you’re going to find someone that will love you fully for the WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL woman that you are. I’m excited for you! Love and hugs sweetheart, muah! 

Post # 348
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Girl, you are amazing. I’m also going to chime in on the sex thing and suggest you take the morning after pill if you do have sex, just to be sure.

Youve got this and it sounds like you have an incredible support networking rallying around you right now.

Post # 349
Member
10144 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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Rowanberry :  

The most OP could be forced to pay, if the dog is jointly owned would be half the fair market value of the dogs.

I went through this with my horses and specially trained dogs.  I did want my abusive ex anywhere near them.  He didn’t really want them either, he just enjoyed scaring me with threats about what he would do to them.

Unless they are high value show or working dogs, you have virtually nothing to lose by taking them.  Their market value, from a judge’s POV is zip.

Op, I am sorry.  I know how hurtful it is to worry about our beloved pets.

Post # 350
Member
10144 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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Sunfire :  

Absolutely, yes!  Individual counseling is important for abuse survivors.  OP has suffered through ongoing trauma.  Survivors of abuse often are diagnosed with PTSD, understandably.

Group counseling has proven helpful, as long as the facilitator is well educated in abuse issues.

OP, I do hope you are able to find the support that you need.  We are all cyber cheering for you.

Post # 351
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I read all your updates!  So glad to hear your boss going above and beyond to make sure you are safe!  Just a couple more days left and then you can escape!  Please be careful! I agree with other bees about posting on weddingbee. If he’s aware that you check out weddingbee forums it might be best to lay low until he’s gone.

Post # 352
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

YES!!!! This is fantastic news!!! Please please be careful. Am thinking of you all the way from England! Take advantage of the offers of help on here and keep us up to date (safely of course!!). Best of luck and much love! Remember you are a beautiful, brave and strong woman…you can do this!!! 🙌🏻

Post # 353
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

This must be such an incredibly difficult situation for you and I am so proud of you for reaching out for help, even if it’s anonymous. Your husband is emotionally abusing you and in no way is it your fault. You did not bring this on yourself no matter what he says. Your feelings are always valid and important and should be respected by your partner. Your sensitivity is completely irrelevant to the validity of your emotions.

I will never completely understand your story or situation, because you are the expert and pilot of your own life. Because of this, it is ultimately up to you to decided what you want to do. You have the right to choose how you want to live and who you want to share your life with and just know that I, along with so many others on here, will support you no matter what your choice is. Try your best to practice self care and reach out for more help. 

 

Post # 354
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

You go girl!!!! Thinking of you and sending best wishes and love from across the pond xx

Post # 355
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

Bee, I was thinking, make sure you keep updating your boss, and update here. Print these pages at work. Anything he does between now and when you leave, if he shouts at you, calls you names, pressures you for sex… Write it here and tell your boss. It just keeps a running commentary so IF he tries anything after you leave it isn’t his word against yours. 

Still Cheering you on from New Zealand xo 

Post # 356
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve just caught up on the thread and am thrilled to read that you are taking steps to get away from him sooner rather than later. Your personality comes across in your posts and you are a wonderful, kind person who does not deserve a lifetime of sadness at the hands of a cruel, malicious individual.

You are an inspiration to many in a similar position and far stronger than you realise! I’m thinking of you and praying for you all the way from UK!

Post # 357
Member
7529 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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worthlessbee :  I’ve read your most recent updates.  Don’t feel you have to leave your pup regardless of property laws because if you fear for her safety that is a legitimate reason to take her with you and keep her safe.  Animals are property but they are also protected by law from abuse.  I had to get a restraining order against my abuser and you may end up having to do the same.  You have taken a lot of very good steps and I am so proud of you! 

I know how hard it is.  And the temptation to give up and go back to the familiar world of his abuse will be strong.  But you need to stay stronger and don’t give in to that – you now know your marriage is a lie and you can never unknow that.  Don’t forget:  You are rescuing that wonderful, energetic, bright woman you used to be and who will rise again and be stronger than ever because of all of this.  You are on the way to your wonderful new life, one small step at a time.

Post # 358
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

What an abusive piece of shit. He definitely chose the right career since most in that field are abusive and sick. Get out now. Like now. Good luck. You’re worth more than this. 

Post # 359
Member
7529 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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karamellokoala :  This is wonderful advice!  Definitely, if he pressures you to have sex take the morning after pill and you’ll be safe from that worry as well. 

Praying for you and will keep checking in for updates. 

Post # 360
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Another vote for the morning after pill! genius idea.

I am so excited today, and it’s all because I’m following your journey, cheering you on, and counting down the days until your new life begins!

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