(Closed) I can't keep this secret any longer…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 601
Member
480 posts
Helper bee

worthlessbee :  A HUGE CONGRATS to you on your well-deserved and newfound freedom. While I’ve not said anything until now (many others said it for me), I have been following your story. Now that you have reached the light at the end of the tunnel, there’s one more change I hope to see you make in the very near future . . . your user-name. You are definitely not a worthless person. You never were, though a certain person may have had you believing it once upon a time. Never forget that you are worthy of all the good that life has to offer.

Post # 602
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

I cried when I read that you are taking action to leave. So relieved for you. I think that everyone that ends up in this situaiton is surprised to find themselves in it. Abusers are good at fooling their victims into the idea that they are safe people.

Please keep us posted, I will be thinking of you and sending you strength. You can do this!

Post # 603
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Thank you so much for updating!  I am so proud of you!  Sending you a huge hug! 

Post # 604
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I’m so proud of you. You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are free! Things might be hard for the next little bit but know how strong you are, you can do this! 

Post # 605
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This is the best news!!! I’m so freaking happy for you and your newfound freedom!! And proud – so proud. Taking action on this plan is HUGE and you should be so proud of yourself for the incredible strength you’ve shown!!

Also – wanted to mention that you should look into counseling. Abuse like you experienced changes you, and you deserve to give yourself time to grieve the loss of the man you thought you married, work through the trauma it caused and build yourself up into the person you are meant to be! 🙂 You’ve already taken some amazing steps! I cannot wait to hear how things go from here, bee! Sending much love your way!!

 

Post # 606
Member
4564 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Been following your story….so proud of you!!! Just be careful leaving work and places you normally frequent as he may follow you to your new apartment.

Wishing you a lifetime of freedom and of doing everything on your own terms!  You are an amazing woman! Keep us all posted.

 

Post # 607
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

worthlessbee :  Ms Very Worthy Bee, I am crying tears of relief at your update. You are very brave. I’m so glad you are away from him in your own new apartment with your puppy enjoying a glass of wine and wearing your hair the way you want it. Please update us often about your new life. We are always here for you <3

Post # 608
Member
6874 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Yay!!!! I’m so happy to hear this! I’ve been looking at this thread all day holding my breath. Glad you’re out of there!

I second what others have said. Do not have any direct contact with him. Do everything through your lawyer. Also, make sure to block him on all social media. He’s going to want to convince you that he’s sorry and that he’ll change. Don’t fall for it!

Post # 609
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

Congratulations! So very very proud of you, you have done something incredible and huge today! Please keep your supports near you in the following months to come. Your ex-husband is likely to pull any and all stops to return to status quo. Don’t let him. You are so strong and so courageous.

You can microblog here on Bee to keep us updated and with you on your path! Bees will be there for you always. Don’t worry, you will make your apartment your own.

Post # 610
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yay, I’m so happy for you!!!!  I came onto the Bee just before bedtime to see if there has been any updates.  I’m so glad that I did.  Now I can sleep in peace, knowing you’re safe.  And you can too!  You’re so brave and amazing!!

Post # 611
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I am SO happy you are safe. Wow, you are such an inspiration. I’m sending love and peace to you and puppy in your freedom!!!

Post # 612
Member
7681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

worthlessbee :  YAY!!!!  I have been thinking about you all day.  I knew you’d be busy, so I’ve only checked a few times later this evening.  You can BREATHE.  You are FREE.  You can start LIVING your life, the way you want!  I know this won’t be easy, and you probably feel strange right now.  We are so proud of you!  And HAPPY for you!  So glad to hear that you are safe.  

Glad that you have a friend staying with you for now!  And you have your pup.  😉

A big CONGRATULATIONS!  and virtual hugs!!  

Post # 613
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ahhh this is so amazing! So proud of you! I have been following this since the beginning, and have been updating my fiance on it. He says “You go girl!” (in a thick Danish accent). Keep us posted!

Post # 614
Member
12671 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m coming to this thread late, but have read it all the way through and want to congratulate you on taking such a brave steps toward a future that is virtually boundless and unlimited in potential.  Scary as all this must have been for you, and as it still is, I felt from the very first post that you you had the courage, the strength, the independence and the will  to accomplish all that you have done in only a few short days.

All the best of luck to you in your new life. Wishing you nothing but the best. 

 

Post # 615
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yay! I’m so happy for you!! 

Couple of thoughts…

1) keep in mind that if he has a security clearance, any type of charge against him might hurt him on the job. That wont save you if he decides to be violent. But it might keep him from stalking or harrassing you, especially if you can document it. (Security cameras in your new apartment might be a good idea). Sometimed bullies have to be reminded that their actions can have repercussions and you  aren’t afraid to document his behavior and let his supervisors know what he is doing.  

2) change all your passwords to all your accounts, even ones you don’t think he knows. He could have installed a key stroke logger

3) cancel and reissue new credit cards. You don’t want him to run up your individual cards (he could have the numbers written down) And get your name off all joint cards.

4) check your car every day for gps tracker. He or a friend might try to find out where you live.

5) look for cars following you and take a different route home every day

6) make work people, apartment people and neighbors, especially security at home and work, know what law enforcemnt agency he works for. He or a friend might pull a badge and be able to get behind the gates. Give them the main LE phone number, so that if anyone from that agency tries to do something, they can call that number and verify that they are doing something legal.

 

Stay Strong!!

 

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