(Closed) I can't keep this secret any longer…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 631
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

Could this be the longest thread on Weddingbee to date?? If not, I reckon it will be soon, and IT TOTALLY DESERVES BE!

GO WORTHYBEE!!

Post # 632
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My post is below.. Or above. Very bad at editing

Post # 633
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Oh gosh. I began to cry reading your post. Please know you are not alone. You are brave, courageous and deep down I believe you do love yourself to know you deserve better.. 

I worked at a battered women’s shelter for years and if it was that easy to pick up and leave, this wouldn’t be the epidemic it is.. There IS love, or at least the feeling of love. And throughout the years of hearing him emotionally batter you, he may have brainwashed you into feeling too unworthy to leave. Its easy for people to scream “LEAVE!!!” And although i want to scream along with them, the reality is that’s not likely to happen, at least not right now.  I do think you need to confide in someone close to you, in relationship and in proximity. Maybe warn your husband that if his verbal abuse doesn’t stop you need to separate for a while to get some perspective. Confide in who you can that is nearby and possibly have a plan of somewhere you can stay for at least a solid week with no contact. It sounds like he has taken you way past for granted and he needs to understand who he will be losing besides just his punching bag.

I can tell you are beautiful and have a very gentle, loving, kind soul and those sincere qualities don’t just need to be reciprocated, but you are more than deserving to have those qualities reciprocated. Sometimes taking a break and stepping away from the situation can allow us time to look inward and find what makes ourselves happy without anybody else. If you are able to take a week or whatnot away, I hope you can focus on yourself and what makes you happy. You deserve it, beautiful. 

The biggest problem in battered women seeking help is getting past the shame and embarrassment that comes with it. You have made an incredible step by posting this. Keep moving forward with this! This is your life and deserve to own it and be as happy as humanly possible.

Post # 634
Member
9989 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

worthlessbee :  I just now read your update!  I’m so happy and relieved for you that you’re safe in your new home! I’m happy your pup is safe with you, too.

I recall exactly the exhilarating feeling of finally being alone and free after breaking away from my abuser, and it felt so wonderful and expansive.  Hold onto that feeling, because the hard part will start soon, which is the grieving process of letting go of your dream.  He was the lie, but your dream was real.  And you will find it again but it may take some time.  The divorce process is never easy but you’ve taken all the right steps to protect yourself. 

Needless to say, I’m so proud of you!  We are here for you anytime you need a friendly word so please keep us posted.  There are so many wonderful, caring, supportive women here.  You will remain in my thoughts and prayers throughout these upcoming days.

Post # 635
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

worthlessbee :  I spent 15 minutes scrolling through pages after hearing what sounded like an incredible update…. YOU DID IT!!!!! You are strong beyond words, beautiful. You can do this!!! Wow.. Now I’m crying in joy lol. You go guuurl. Now just wait, the more you find the love and happiness inside yourself the better things are going to be. I can’t wait for your new Journey!

Post # 636
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I am so happy to have read your update, my stomach was in knots for you all day yesterday.

Congratulations on starting your new life, you deserve so much happiness, I can’t wait to hear from you more in the coming weeks!

Post # 637
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I’ve been quietly watching your story unfold and I am SO proud of you!! Real tears over here. You are so brave and strong. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling right know. But I do know you are on your way to pure happiness.

This thread is exactly why I love WeddingBee. I’ve never wanted to hug a group of anonymous strangers more in my life!! 

Post # 638
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

Post # 639
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

So, so happy to hear that you are out and safe!! Thanks for updating us.  I had to hold back the tears at work reading it.  Other bees have given some good advice about how to stay safe from here out, but it sounds like you are in a very good situation overall.

Best of luck in your new life bee – a life where you get to make your own choices, do what makes you happy, and not have to answer to anyone but yourself.  So proud of you!

Post # 640
Member
16 posts
Newbee

worthlessbee :  I’ve been checking on your post..thinking about you and praying you are doing well.  You are so strong for leaving and standing up for yourself.  Take it one day at a time and get back to you.  Lots of tears over here for you bee.  You have inspired me to take control of my life and move forward.  I will be talking to a lawyer myself soon and getting my things in order.  Keep strong bee!

curti2le : I totally agree with what you said. LOVE this group xoxo

Post # 641
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’ve been keeping up with this post since you first posted it and OMG YOU DID IT! You took control of your own life and your own happiness and you changed it for the better! I know you’ve heard this a million times now but you are SO brave! I’m so glad you got out of that place and while I know the coming days and weeks will be rough (understatement of the year, I’m sure), you took that major first step! You should be so proud of yourself and I’m so excited for you and your new life! Please keep us updated over the upcoming months. You definitely found yourself a fan club on this post! <3

Post # 642
Member
5028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

worthlessbee :  You are so brave Worthy Bee!  Congratulations on your new found freedom, your new home, your new haircut, your NEW LIFE!!  You are such a great example to those who have found themselves trapped within an abusive relationship.   Today it is hard and it is sad but with each day you will feel better, regain your sense of worth and start truly living life again.

Post # 643
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

worthlessbee :  Praise God, I’m so happy for you. I’ve been reading this thread since day one and have had you in my thoughts. All day yesterday was I checking for an update and I am so happy that you are safe and away from him.  The Best Is Yet to Come for you

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