(Closed) I can't seem to win in my relationship (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@biochic75:  How long have you two been together?

Post # 4
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Hugs to you! I can’t imagine that being an acceptable excuse but I’m not in your situation. I’ve totally gone bonkers the last few months and the SO just tells me it’s understandable. Not that it does anything to get him moving, but I guess it is good he understands. How are you being anxious – I’d be curious to know since you sound like me. I know how you feel – I also think about stuff like my clock going tick-tock, but I guess for me it’s mostly where do I live and what career should I have at this point. Have you tried explaining things to the SO from a logical perspective? Like with statistics and such?

Post # 5
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

There are millions of men out there.  Go find one who wants what you want.

Post # 6
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@biochic75:  i dont blame you. I was freaking out at age 24. I would be the same way if I was you. Try to deal with the anxiety (easier said then done I know) however you can to make it better. The sooner you do that the sooner you will be married! but, you are ONLY 37, you still have plenty of time to have children!

do you know if he wants marriage and kids for sure? If not, you need to move on ASAP.

I think Darling Husband asked me to marry him because he knew if I had to wait any longer Iwould explode.  I think your SO needs to be more understanding and caring…

Post # 9
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@biochic75:  I would think he was just making excuses except for the fact that your therapist agrees with him. Have you tried just being super busy or taking up boxing or something? Not to use on him, but it’s great for wearing a person out physically and a great distraction!

Post # 10
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

perhaps see a therapist on your own to help with the anxiety issues?

Post # 11
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

@biochic75:  Dont let 2 months be a deal breaker!! Remember, time moves slower for guys 😉 If it was me I would wait out the year, then bring it up again in the new year. Maybe he is planning something special for the holidays, and you dont want to mess that up!!

I totally hear you though. Ive been with SO a year and a half, and my clock is ticking loudly. I dont want to feel like im pressuring him, so I have not asked him about a timeline, but its definetely on my mind. Thank God I know he wants to marry me….Im just tying to let it happen naturally.

 

 

Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

@biochic75:  If he can’t handle your anxiety, which is a part of who you are, then he is not the person you should marry.

I know that getting back out there sucks… but sometimes it really is just that easy.  Find someone who wants to be with you, and wants the same things you do.

Post # 14
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@Blanche:  It’s easy to find someone with just those two characteristics I think, but it’s finding someone with all the other little bits that fit together that’s the problem. Think it doesn’t happen that often for most people, but maybe I’m wrong. For me at least, I think finding someone that matched me mentally in terms of interests, sense of humor, etc. would be a big challenge. Maybe it’s like that for biochic too.

The topic ‘I can't seem to win in my relationship (vent)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors