(Closed) I can't stand his attitude!!! *venting*

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My FI wasn’t overly interested at first, whilst I was showing him different countries (destination wedding) and talking to him about quotes I’d received from different planners. I didn’t take it to heart because in 9 out of 10 situations, his laid back attitude really works with my control freakery. He said there was two things he was bothered about – that we get married on the beach and that I wear my hair down, lol. Everything else, he trusted I’d pick something we’d both love. Since we’ve booked he’s been seriously excited and much happier to discuss it. Maybe your Fiance will seem a bit more excited when the big stuff is done and he’s not got anything to worry about?

I do empathise with you though, it’s such an exciting time and more than anything you want to experience that excitement with, you know, the only other person going through it!

Post # 17
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

It’s very frustrating isn’t it! My Fiance was all excited and up for wedding talk when it was all theoretical, but now that we’ve paid a deposit on a venue and can actually plan, he’s like ‘eh’. We’re still a year out so I’ve decided to have a few weeks break from wedding talk with him (and just go and research on my own haha) so he doesn’t get overwhelmed. Maybe something like this would work? 

Post # 18
Member
3870 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

katelinnash:  My Darling Husband was a pretty good sport throughout the entire process, but I made a point not to bother him when he was busy doing something else, on his lunch break, or just walking in the door from work. His enthusiasm was likely to be higher right after dinner/right before bed because he’d had a chance to come home, take a shower, wind down and relax before going into wedding planning mode. Now, I’m not saying he’s some precious petal that I had to tiptoe around, but wedding planning was stressful for him, so I tried to make sure he was in the mindset to think about things. And for certain decisions, I left him out of it. He didn’t care about linen choices, or bridesmaids dresses, or my father daughter dance song, etc. And early on, I asked him what was really, really important to him, he gave me five things, and from there I planned around those things and only very often did I need to actually have him full on planning with me. 

It honestly sounds like you’re bummed that he isn’t excited about every single process like you are. That can be a bummer for sure, but maybe try and select a few things to ask his help on, designate specific times that you will be talking about it, or give him tasks to complete that will interest him, but that you do not shoot down or change. Some guys just don’t like wedding planning and if you want him to be involved, you can’t force him to be on level with your enthusiasm, so meet him halfway.

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