I can't stand my friend while she's pregnant and I feel awful for it

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 61
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Laur12 :  kudos to you for being a way more patient and tolerant person than I am! Your “friend” sounds incredibly self absorbed. I could overlook some of the eye-roll inducing behavior (like the mac n cheese incident) for a good friend. But, someone who never shows any interest in your life is NOT a good friend. The gift grabby text makes it abundantly clear what type of “friend” she is. Pregnancy is not the cause of her bad behavior or limitations as a friend. 

If I were you, I would pull back unless (or until) she starts demonstrating that she values you as a friend and not just as a source of gifts or an audience for her self obsessed pontificating

Post # 62
1184 posts
Bumble bee

Hehe! I giggled at some points. I agree that she is probably just very excited. It doesn’t sound like she has very good social skills. Just try have contact with her as much as you can bear, and not get affected by her strange behaviour at the moment! It was rather selfish to email you and expect an immediate reply, so keep your boundaries in place x

Post # 63
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I just spat out my coffee!!! “I don’t know – does daddy want mac & cheese?” hahahahhahahah

I have been pregnant and I have had plenty of pregnant friends; some like your friend (they don’t change…in fact, it gets worse!
You could be talking about how your SO is being a dick, and they will say something like “Phoenix is SUCH a quick learner…he’s already found his little willy and tugging at it while he laughs! Cheeky – but boys will be boys! “

*vomit* I. CAN’T. DEAL. I have to admit I don’t hang out with many mums, because most of them lose their identity as a person. They forget that “mum” is also “wife, friend, sister, daughter”, they lose sense of reality and that’s actually quite sad.

I hope for your sake, she snaps out of it and it’s just the overdrive of hormones making her mental. If I were you, I would say nothing – don’t make conversation – eventually her mouth will dry up and she will be forced to ask you a question about yourself. Use that opportunity to say “I thought you’d never ask Susan…you know, I totally get that you’ve struggled for this opportunity to be a mother and also that you’re quite excited, however I’m actually a little hurt that you don’t nourish OUR relationship like you used to.”

It’s a great way of opening the topic up – it will either cause a shit storm, or she will snap out of her hormonal fairyland and be the friend you know. Either way – you have closure! But just, be kind always…

Good luck! xx

Post # 64
2928 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Laur12 :  I feel for you as I have a friend that’s exactly the same.  She refers to her husband as “daddy” or “baby daddy” in public all.the.time.  They already know they’re having a boy and she calls the baby by his name all the time.  Or else, if she really wants something, she’ll say the baby wants it.  Like if she wants some orange juice, she’ll say “Johnny really wants some orange juice!”  “Yum!  Johnny said that chocolate cupcake was awesome!”  It is really annoying!

Me and my other friends have called her out on it.  She said she doesn’t even realize she is doing it, but I honestly don’t believe her.  She has always been a bit self centered so that’s why I think this is just another way of her seeking attention.

She also always has her arms resting on the “shelf” of her baby bump.  Then when the baby kicks she rubs belly 100 times telling him to relax.  Sometimes she’ll actually jump up, like the baby kicked her so hard it lifted her from her seat.  Then she’ll sing to her bump.  Unfortunately, her husband sits her and rubs the belly as well so he’s just as bad.

I seriously hope I’m not like that when I’m pregnant.

Post # 65
223 posts
Helper bee

Laur12 :  OMG that Mac and Cheese story is sooooo freaking awkward!  I couldn’t do it.   

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