- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I never wanted a wedding ceremony.
I hate wearing dresses.
I hate when people stare at me.
I hate planning events.
All I wanted to do was get married to the man I love. My future husband is the only son in his family, and I’m the only daughter to potentially walk down the isle.
But I don’t want a wedding. I hate everything about it.
When I told my FH’s MIL that I didn’t want a wedding she basically had an emotional breakdown. My father was upset because he wanted to walk one of his daughters down the isle (I have a sister, she won’t be getting married – long story).
I got sucked into it. It’s in a month and I’m sick to death of all of it. We’re shelling out 10’s of thousands of dollars to have a party that we don’t want, with people we never see (I’m american but my husband is Japanese and we live in Japan) just to appease people who aren’t even paying for it.
Ok. I am ok with doing this for our parents. It means a lot to them and since I love and respect them, we’re doing it.
But I literally cannot take it anymore. I booked a venue that claimed to be the most hassel-free type of wedding (chartered yacht). They claimed everything would be planned by them with minor details chosen by me.
Bulls**t. Its a month away and not only can I still not get confirmed RSVPs from over 10 guests, but my ‘wedding planner’ as she calls herself sends me something new everyday. I keep telling her to just pick whatever is normal for a wedding but she just doesn’t get it. I don’t care about any of this stuff. Planning each and every detail is taking up every last bit of free time (which is actually a lot) that I have. Something is always going wrong. My dress’s bust size was tailored incorrectly out of the country and now I’m half way across the world with a dress thats too small in the bust area. If it were too big it could be fixed, but now I have to wear some sort of mideivel torture corset just to fit in some stupid dress I didn’t want in the first place.
Took me 10 minutes to pick out my wedding dress.
Took me 2 months to get all of my bridesmaids to agree on a dress style, which is ridiculous because I fronted the 200$ per dress bill.
I was told they have photographers that work with them so I wouldn’t have to worry too much about it. Again, its BS. I was sent a list of 20 photographers that I’m supposed to call individually for quotes and arrangements.
Then we’re off to the music. Apparently you need upwards of 3000 different songs to play just during the ceremony. My ‘wedding planner’ sent me a list of ‘popular’ choices of music. There are 100 different songs on the list, all classical music, none that I know of, have heard of, or give 3 cents and a crap about. They’re expecting me to seek out and listen to each song individually and arrange my choices of what to play during the ceremony, the duration of each song, etc.
Lets not forget the guest list.
I invited only about 50 people because we’re having the wedding in the States and my good friends and family are scattered about the country (and quite a few here in Asia with me). I told my ‘wedding planner’ that I invited about 50 people, about 40 are confirmed coming. Ok no problem, right? Well, this woman actually wants the individual names of every single guest attending so they can pick up personalized boarding tickets for the yacht. I can’t even get half of my guests to respond without 4 or 5 emails even though I’ve repeatedly told them that there is a deadline. After I told my ‘wedding planner’ about this, she said she needs to know the exact number of guests so they can plan food, seating, etc. etc. accordingly. Yeah ok, I get that and all… but I told her I would just pay for 50 people and if 40 people show up that it’s no big deal. ButI guess in wedding world this is a big deal.
And then we come to the cake.
The wedding package I chose had a specific bakery to order from. No problem. Remember, I don’t care. They could serve oreos and I’d be perfectly fine with it. Come to find out, the cake guy says the 40 person cake is only 2 tier. I specifically wanted a 3 tier so we could take the top home with us. He said due to the restrictions in the wedding package, I can only order enough cake to cover my guest list. I told him that I will pay the difference for the 3 tier if necessary and he still said he can’t do it. I actually just told him I don’t give a crap about the extra cost just give me this cake in this picture and lets be done with it. But still, he says they can’t do that. So now HE needs a completed guest list. Oh yeah, almost forgot – if LESS than 40 people are confirmed for the wedding, they won’t make the cake at all. I offered to pay the difference, but again I got a no.
I seriously cannot do this anymore. I spend day after day chasing down wedding bullcrap that almost means next to nothing to me. I spend hours each day talking and planning withcaterers, florists, family, friends… trying to negotiate their attendence.
Why can’t I just give this company whatever money they ask for and have them just plan every detail? I’m about to lose my mind.