(Closed) I can't stop crying

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I had my ‘breakdown’ three days before my wedding. I sobbed, screamed and hyperventilated giberish for two or three hours while being held by my MOH/BFF. She just gently urged me to “let it all out”. 

It’s normal, and there isn’t much that can be done. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Just remind yourself that the stress will be over soon enough *hug*

Post # 4
Member
4808 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
reee :   Big hugs to you.    I also had a meltdown before the wedding – it’s a lot of stress that builds up.  Cry it out, then do something extra nice for yourself.  

As far as the list – can you delegate some of the things on it?  

Post # 5
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Hugs to you, bee, you’re almost there!

Post # 7
Member
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

 

View original reply
reee :  I agree to let it all out but then… you need to step back and keep your eyes on the big picture. Youre getting married. Youll do your best with the details, but the show will go on no matter what.

Also accept that it is a crazy milestone, youre changing, life will be different. That comes with emotional weight. Just ride the wave and submit to the feels, but dont get swept up or dwell in the details.

Post # 8
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. So the things I did to help me, might not help you. You know yourself and can identify if these will help or not.

For me, I wrote out the list of things that needed doing. Don’t focus on the length of the list, just write everything down, big and small. Once I had my list I started to order them based on priority and date. So it was important I picked my wedding dress up but I couldn’t do that until the Wednesday before. I had signs to make but that was a lower priority than picking up the wedding dress but could be done sooner. I had to pack for honeymoon and that was of equal priority to the dress but could be done now. When you have a priority next to everything, re-write it in the order it should be done and work your way down the list. If it’s at the bottom of the list and it’s close to the wedding be honest with yourself about whether it’s crucial or a nice to have. If you want you can actually mark those on your list too. Also mark down the things that others can do, this allows you to delegate. Try and delegate some tasks. Also at this point if someone offers help, accept it. Now is not the time to do everything yourself. Accepting help doesn’t mean you couldn’t do it yourself, it means you can enjoy the day.

Write out a timeline for the day. On the timeline, write down where you will be and your fiancé will be. Write down what time vendors are turning up at the various places and as many contact details for each vendor as you can. Write any specific information that might be needed (eg cake will need letting into room, Mother-In-Law agreed to do it with contact number for MIL). Print at least two copies, give one to your mum or your bridesmaid and one to your Mother-In-Law or your partner. You don’t have to worry about anything then, if you’ve included the time vendors should be appearing and contact numbers someone else can chase them for you.

Time might be tight but look over your list and plan in some time the day before the wedding just the two of you. We went picking up his suits two days before, once we had those in the card we gave ourselves an hour to just walk around and enjoy each other’s company. We banned any mention of the w word. I can’t recommend that enough. It was really nice, we had a coffee and some cake and played the game what would we buy if money was no object.

Start accepting that things might not go to plan but it’s not the end of the world. If you stress yourself out with everything that could wrong, you’ll be so tired on your wedding day and if something that you didn’t prepare for goes wrong it will panic you. Logically speaking as long as everyone is healthy at the end of the day and you are married you’ve done a good job. Anything that fails is probably a contractual failure or family stuff which lets be honest is allways lingering. You can’t control everything.

Decide at which point anymore prep for the wedding will stop. Mine was 7pm on the day before. You know your timeline but allow yourself a time where you just accept if it’s not done by that time, it won’t get done and that it’s not the end of the world.

On the day before and the wedding day (particularly before the ceremony) carve out some alone time. Not necessarily time with your partner but time to just get your thoughts together and take a deep breath. A few moments of quiet. Everything is so busy, even if you just have to take an extended bathroom break just enjoy the silence for a few minutes.

Accept that on the day itself, you will feel whatever you feel. It’s so hard to predict what you’ll feel. If you need to cry and let it out, do so. If you’re tired, you’re tired. If you’re excited, show it. I thought I’d be ao anxious walking down the aisle but I was just excited. However, I hadn’t counted on feeling so ill at the reception, I think the relief mixed anxiety just hit me after. But you smile and adjust your expectations.

Post # 10
Member
6003 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

View original reply
reee :  Aww just try and remind yourself that this is normal and to be expected for most of us. Maybe go and get your nails done, schedule a short massage or just go for a run (if you enjoy that kind of thing) to clear your head. If all else fails, have a nice big glass of wine, put on a comfort movie, and let your mind relax for a couple of hours 🙂 

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