It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. So the things I did to help me, might not help you. You know yourself and can identify if these will help or not.
For me, I wrote out the list of things that needed doing. Don’t focus on the length of the list, just write everything down, big and small. Once I had my list I started to order them based on priority and date. So it was important I picked my wedding dress up but I couldn’t do that until the Wednesday before. I had signs to make but that was a lower priority than picking up the wedding dress but could be done sooner. I had to pack for honeymoon and that was of equal priority to the dress but could be done now. When you have a priority next to everything, re-write it in the order it should be done and work your way down the list. If it’s at the bottom of the list and it’s close to the wedding be honest with yourself about whether it’s crucial or a nice to have. If you want you can actually mark those on your list too. Also mark down the things that others can do, this allows you to delegate. Try and delegate some tasks. Also at this point if someone offers help, accept it. Now is not the time to do everything yourself. Accepting help doesn’t mean you couldn’t do it yourself, it means you can enjoy the day.
Write out a timeline for the day. On the timeline, write down where you will be and your fiancé will be. Write down what time vendors are turning up at the various places and as many contact details for each vendor as you can. Write any specific information that might be needed (eg cake will need letting into room, Mother-In-Law agreed to do it with contact number for MIL). Print at least two copies, give one to your mum or your bridesmaid and one to your Mother-In-Law or your partner. You don’t have to worry about anything then, if you’ve included the time vendors should be appearing and contact numbers someone else can chase them for you.
Time might be tight but look over your list and plan in some time the day before the wedding just the two of you. We went picking up his suits two days before, once we had those in the card we gave ourselves an hour to just walk around and enjoy each other’s company. We banned any mention of the w word. I can’t recommend that enough. It was really nice, we had a coffee and some cake and played the game what would we buy if money was no object.
Start accepting that things might not go to plan but it’s not the end of the world. If you stress yourself out with everything that could wrong, you’ll be so tired on your wedding day and if something that you didn’t prepare for goes wrong it will panic you. Logically speaking as long as everyone is healthy at the end of the day and you are married you’ve done a good job. Anything that fails is probably a contractual failure or family stuff which lets be honest is allways lingering. You can’t control everything.
Decide at which point anymore prep for the wedding will stop. Mine was 7pm on the day before. You know your timeline but allow yourself a time where you just accept if it’s not done by that time, it won’t get done and that it’s not the end of the world.
On the day before and the wedding day (particularly before the ceremony) carve out some alone time. Not necessarily time with your partner but time to just get your thoughts together and take a deep breath. A few moments of quiet. Everything is so busy, even if you just have to take an extended bathroom break just enjoy the silence for a few minutes.
Accept that on the day itself, you will feel whatever you feel. It’s so hard to predict what you’ll feel. If you need to cry and let it out, do so. If you’re tired, you’re tired. If you’re excited, show it. I thought I’d be ao anxious walking down the aisle but I was just excited. However, I hadn’t counted on feeling so ill at the reception, I think the relief mixed anxiety just hit me after. But you smile and adjust your expectations.
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