Post # 1
A long while back my SO said “I’m going to only ask you this once, Describe to me what kind of rings do you like?”. We were on a plane so I had no access to the internet and we kind of sketched out some pictures. I was also kind of jumping out of my skin at the moment and this quick conversation lasted no longer than a few minutes. No proposal happened, but a lot has occupied our lives since then — new job, re-location, we moved in together, etc. Recently, my friend and I were talking about rings just for fun and so I started thinking about our conversation again. I’ve done a bit more “fun ring research on the internet” and stumbled upon the moissanite rings. What I wish I could have told my SO in that previous conversation is that I really would prefer for him to buy a moissanite ring rather than an $$$$ diamond ring. The problem is that it would be very difficult to bring this up to him since this is not something we usually talk about. I’m also worried he doesn’t want to feel like a “cheapo”. What I really want is to have a moissanite rings and when we get engaged — whenever this happens — for us to donate a significant amount (1K or 2K split by us) to charity. We have always wanted to be more charitable, and I feel like an engagement would be a really neat time to share our love and excitement. But how to make this happen??… 🙁
Anyway, I know he hasn’t purchased a ring yet (I have no clue if he’s even loooked because his work is so time demanding), but I’m really hoping for a proposal by the end of this year!
Post # 3
@asianbee: No offence, but if you can’t even talk to him about a ring, are you sure that you’re ready to marry the guy?
Post # 4
I have changed my mind on rings several times and always just tell my boyfriend. I make sure it’s something I really want first, which it sounds like you’ve done, and then I tell him that I’ve been thinking a bit more about what I want for the ring. He always understands and usually calls me silly and gives me a big hug. Especially since it’s been so long since you’ve talked about it I think it’d be fine if you just tell him that since then you’ve had a chance to actually look at rings and you have a better idea of what you want now. Since you don’t think he’s looked at rings I think he should be fine with it : ) Also the charity idea is wonderful!
Congratulations on your impending engagement and good luck talking to him!
Post # 5
You need to talk to him, and it’s really not a big deal to do that. If you’re uncomfortable with this, and if he gets upset at you for some reason, I would really ask yourself if you can be in a relationship where such topics can’t be talked about.
I have changed my mind on ring sizes, material, etc., and told my SO whenever that would happen. It’s better to get what you would actually like to wear for many years to come than to have something you are less-than-thrilled with.
Post # 6
Regarding my being uncomfortable — perhaps I used inappropriate wording. It’s not a subject I cannot speak to SO about, it’s more that we both want this to be a surprise. We talk about the future quite a bit (we have been dating for 4 years), but I think we are both traditional when it comes to engagement — as much as I would like to have 100% control (don’t we all!) I still would like to be surprised and I am sure that he feels the same way. Therefore, we don’t “badger” the topic. I think if talked about it, the element of surprise would decrease. That’s kind of why I wanted advice on how to tell him without really telling him straight up. Also, I would be completely happy with whatever ring he ends up picking out, I am simply seeking out to see if other bees have had creative ways in letting their SO know? 😉
Post # 7
It won’t ruin the surprise. You won’t know for sure what he’s going to do. Just send him an email saying you changed your mind and there’s this cool stone called Moissanite that’s a space rock that’s so pretty you fell in love. You don’t care what he decides, but just wanted to give him a heads up/update sort of thing. Love you, bye, the end.
I always just let SO know if I’ve found something I like. I’m pretty positive he’s settled on one and I’m pretty sure I know which it is, but I don’t feel like the surprise is ruined. I have no idea how or when he’s going to propose. So, to me, that equals surprise.
Post # 8
If you really want a moissanite, you need to talk to him about it. My SO wasn’t keen on them because he thought people would think he was cheap. Then when he realized I really wanted one, and I showed him more info on them, he came around to the idea of getting one.