- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I am not a new bee, I have been a member on this site for many many years during my engagement and the ladies and gents here have always been super helpful in the past.
I feel so much regret having write this post and do not wish to use my regular login detail.
My husband and I married in June but have not been intimate with each other since BEFORE the wedding. I have spoken to him numerous times about the lack of intimacy expecially as a newly wed and even after instigating sex it still has not happened.
He says hes tired from work and makes up excuses all the time and I cannot continue to be in a relationship like this.
I have been sleeping in our guest bedroom for months.
Intimacy had been an issue before we got married and i thought we sorted it out. He says hes shy but i just do not feel its normal or healthy for a couple to only have sex once every few months. I even thought a few times that he might be gay and part of me thinks this actually might be the case.
In October I met someone great. We started talking regularly but were never physical with eachother. He would come sit with me during his lunchbreaks from work and I would visit him for a quick 5 minute chat after I finished work.
We first kissed 3 weeks ago.
He had a girlfriend. Shes away travelling for 6 months.
Monday night after a particularly bad weekend with my husband I made an excuse to get out the house and went over to this guys house. When I got there he had cooked me a gorgeous meal. I have never had anyone cook for me before, it was perfect.
We watched a movie and then it happened. We just lost control and I ended up sleeping with him. It was perfect. It wasnt just sex it was passionate and meaningful. He told me he was falling in love with me.
He told me last night that he has broken up with his girlfriend as he could not be that person. He has said to me that I do not have to feel presured to do anything and would respect my choices and that he would have broken up with her anyway.
I am unsure now how to proceed.
I would not persue a new relationship straight away and the other guy knows that. he understands.
This really has validated for me that my marriage to my husband is pretty much over and I really do not see how we can come back from this. I regret marrying him in the first place as bad as it sounds.
Not once on our wedding day did he say I look beautiful. He didnt even say he loved me.
The worst part about all of this is that there are kids involved. I have a child with my husband. (the child happened during the time I thought we had solved his intimacy issues). My husband has not been a great Dad. He loves his child but gets very verbally agressive at the smallest of things and its directed at the child. It breaks my heart.
I am worried about custody issues if i were to leave the marriage. We have a mortgage together and I have no savings left. My mom would take both my child and I in for a while but I feel bad that my father put a lot of his savings into our wedding and its already failing/failed.
Its not even about the cheating anymore or the other guy. I do not love my husband and i do not now what to do.
Is Anulment an option if we havent consummated the marriage? How does anulment work when children and mortgages are involved?