(Closed) i choose being economical over etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Where did you break etiquette here?

Post # 5
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@iheartnerdyboys: Did you separate married couples?

I ask, because it seems like pretty often people think they are breaking etiquette, when really they aren’t 😀

Post # 6
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

You were well with in your rights here : ) Unless you didn’t allow someone to bring their spouse of fiance then you didn’t even break any etiquette rules!  Well done you for sticking to your guns.

Post # 7
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it is bad etiquette to complain to the hosts that you were not invited to their party. You are not entitled to an invitation, end of story. Seriously, I think you have to be a pretty rude person to insist that a couple is required to pay for another head so that your girlfriend of 2 months or your 3 month old toddler can attend their wedding and actually get angry at the hosts if everyone you wanted to be invited is not.

Post # 8
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@iheartnerdyboys:  Unless you excluded people’s spouses or live-in SO’s, you’re well within the bounds of etiquette. 

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can definitely understand. Fiance and I have decided to have an intimate wedding. I know etiquette states that you must invite people who are in a serious relationship, but I rather give that seat to someone who is special to me and knows my first and last name.

Post # 9
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I just had to take 40 family members off of my guestlist. It hurt a lot because I wanted to share my special day with these people. At the same time, it’s family that I only see maybe once a year. A lot were kids and I would be able to enjoy myself as much. You have to do what you have to to make sure you can afford what you truely want.

Post # 10
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

I like this a lot and I think it’s so true what you said. Many on my Darling Husband side won’t speak to us because kids were not invited, and I just can not get over how rude these people are. It still eats at me that these people never sent back their RSVP cards, never sent us a card or even reached out and said Congrats to their nephew, why, because we didn’t invite everyone who they wanted us to.

When it comes to a guest list and paying for things, people need to shut up, grow up, and learn how to have some class. I can’t stand people who want to whine how offended they are because they thought so and so should have been invited when they have no clue what our budet or situation was. I held firm on that and didn’t budge either and when people would ask or say Oh I thought so and so would have  invited, I had no problem saying we are on a tight budget and we are GRATEFUL for whatever help we are getting from my family. My family was made to be horrid people because they couldn’t afford and accomdate everyone on IL’s side, that to me is disgusting and I didn’t want people like that there anyways.

Post # 11
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We didnt allow plus ones except married/engaged/living together. We ended up right in our ideal number at 65 guests. I do not regret it at all. im so glad we had a small wedding.

Post # 12
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s breaking etiquette if you have demands for someone else’s wedding.  Your guests were rude, I’m pretty sure you’re fine. It’s the celebration of you and your Darling Husband starting your life together, not a public holiday. Nobody is entitled to an invitation.

Post # 13
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Good for you!

Fiance and I are having issues right now with family members not understanding that their few extra guests add up. There are some people on our list who really shouldn’t be.

His parents, especially, have a difficult time realizing how many people there really are. His parents are divorced, so that doesn’t help either b/c they each want to have their families equally represented. 

I’m having to put my foot down about some people. Not everyone is pleased, but Fiance and I are paying for the bulk of our wedding, and we aren’t rich. We can’t invite ever person we have ever known, unfortunately. 

Post # 14
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@AprilJo2011:  While no, people shouldn’t make demands about othe people’s weddings Brides and Grooms can’t just run rampant over people in the name of their budget or their day. 

I’m okay if someone can’t invite me to their wedding but I would be very offended if they invited me but not my husband or vice versa  Its very rude. 

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