- 7 years ago
We got engaged and FCIL decided she had to beat us down the aisle. It didn’t matter that she’d told me about a week before that she had no intention of getting married anytime soon. She wanted to be married before FI. So, her entire engagement blew ours out of the water. Nobody even said congratulations to us in FI’s immediate family, in fact, they still haven’t… Not even her. For the first six months of my engagement I was not allowed to talk or even think about my wedding. FCIL’s was top priority and no one would acknowledge ours. FCIL would get a pissy attitude if I even tried to talk about my wedding. So, I spent the first six months of my engagement feeling sad and like nobody was supportive of Fiance and I getting married.
Flash forward to now: I am JUST NOW feeling comfortable bringing the topic of my wedding up. I’m still feeling kind of touchy about it, though. Like, I gracefully bring it up and if no one engages in conversation, I drop it.
FCIL volunteered herself to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. For the past couple of months, she and I weren’t on the best of terms. We’ve recently made up, and tonight I was happy talking to her like the old days. Then, the bombshell came.
When everyone was in the kitchen FCIL said, “Alright everybody, we have something we’d like to tell you!” Long, heart-pounding pause, “We’re going to start trying to get pregnant in December!” I almost choked on my tortilla chip! My heart sunk and I immediately tried to fight back tears. FCIL just had this smug look on her face and was expecting everybody to clap and cheer or something. But, nobody really seemed too excited. I was heartbroken.
We just got past months of not speaking to each other, and now she’s going to try to get pregnant so that the last part of my engagement/wedding will also be overshadowed. -Before I go any further, if you plan to make a comment about how I don’t get a whole year or something, I just need to you to refrain from commenting on my story. –
Now, everyone is going to spend the early part of next year fussing and fawning over FCIL. She is not going to be able to help me do anything for the wedding, and she is one of TWO bridesmaids I have. I’m not going to expect someone to come help me make bouquets and wedding programs after they’ve just puked their guts up all morning/day… and trust me, she wouldn’t be one of those people that would be like, “Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m still coming to help you!” So, she won’t be any help. Picking out a dress for her is going to be next to impossibly difficult, and I’m sure a lot of whining and complaining will follow. I don’t care if my bridesmaids are pregnant, but she will complain the entire time about being pregnant (even though she’s doing it on purpose!). My wedding is a travel wedding. So, if there are complications in her pregnancy (you never know), she might not even be able to come… Which puts me out a bridesmaid, groomsman, AND flower girl. Not to mention, she won’t have the money to afford all of these things when she’s preparing for a baby… You know, like, a hotel, attire, transportation to the wedding, etc.
Then, of course, there will be a baby shower. Which, shouldn’t be until after my wedding, but who knows with her? She’s dead set on ruining every big event for the rest of my f*cking life, so it’ll probably be at my damn wedding reception! She’ll be expecting Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law to contribute big ticket items to her baby’s nursery, at the same time I’m hoping they’ll pay for some of FI’s and my wedding.
I know this might sound ridiculous to some people. I am merely here to vent, which is what the Bee is for (I think?). I’ve seen a lot of other Bees going through similar things, so I’m hoping that not everyone will jump down my throat. You’d really have to know FCIL to understand. If she got pregnant on accident or something, I would not have any hard feelings. She is getting pregnant on purpose because she is trying to one-up Fiance and I. That is just her personality. You might think she just wants to have a baby, no harm in that, but that is NOT her way of thinking. Just last week she said she wouldn’t dare conceive a child until she has bought a home (they live in a shack right now), and made more money (she gets like 15 hours a week at work, and her Darling Husband makes $10/hr). There is no way they’ll have accomplished these things by December.
Plus, when FCIL made her announcement, she looked directly at ME and acted like she was sort of searching my approval/reaction. After she made the announcement I didn’t really act enthused, neither did the FILs’ or Future Brother-In-Law, and FCIL kept staring at me. Then, she said, “So, I’ll probably be like 7 months pregnant at your wedding.” Umm, wtf?! Like I said, I don’t care about having a pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man (as far as how much they weigh). I’m not one of those people who is all crazy about how the BMs look in the pictures, that is ridiculous! I am mad that she is doing this at the SAME time I am getting married. Couldn’t they wait until my wedding day to start trying to conceive?! I don’t care if they get pregnant right AFTER my wedding. But, before is just unfair to me, I think.
I am actually in tears because we just now made up and have been on good terms. Now, she has hurt my feelings and I am all in recluse mode again. I don’t know how to think or how to act, but please don’t beat me while I am down. I am praying she doesn’t really decide to spite me and get knocked up next month, which would put baby and wedding coming in the same month…