(Closed) I could go to Europe, free, but DH hates the idea. Thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in Travel
Post # 4
1339 posts
Bumble bee

I would go. Why should he hold you back..so you can both be unhappy? He can plan some fun stuff with the guys and miss you.

I would just tell him look I’m going to see my family. Sorry you can’t go this time but it’s a good opportunity for me. Just leave it at that and he will cool off eventually.

Post # 5
1339 posts
Bumble bee

As a side note I doubt you would make him feel badly for wanting to see his family. Why is he being so unfair?

Post # 6
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Um, go visit your family!  That is a jealously thing he needs to get over pronto.  Are you going to just not see your family ever again unless he can travel with you?  He needs to grow up, put on his big girl panties and get over it.

Post # 7
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think if you can afford to go, you should. This is family you may not see for a long time, especially if you guys are going to think about having children soon.

Could you maybe go to Europe for the two weeks you are taking for your honeymoon instead of honeymooning wherever you have planned? It would be a compromise. But, that way you aren’t resenting him and he isn’t resenting you for going.

Post # 9
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would go.  The free time is there and its free!!  It sucks that he can’t go, but why bring down both of you.  You can go and you can still go back later with him when he CAN go.  There’s no reason why both of you should miss out on this chance.  I’ve gotten to travel a bit for work, while my husband stayed home.  I explored a few places without him while I was there.  Did it suck that he couldn’t experience it with me?  Yes.  Should I have not taken that chance to do it?  No, I don’t think so.  If he really wants to go back to those places, I’ll go back with him…. if not, I got my chance to see it.  Now it’s his turn to travel for work to some place I haven’t been.  Can he turn it down and not go?  yes, should he?  No!  I think with or without each other, if the opportunity gets dropped in your lap, you should go.  One person should not be holding the other back just out of jealousy.

Post # 10
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

So you are getting married, going to Europe solo and then going on your honeymoon?

ETA: I had a semi-similar argument with my Darling Husband yesterday. I’m in a wedding and the bachelorette is in Vegas, money is tight so a separate vacation for the two of us is unlikely. He is upset and I’m sure if our positions were reversed I would feel the same way. That said, I’m going and he is going to have to deal with it.

Post # 11
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@beachbride1216:  +1 this!

I get the jealousy thing – I mean who wouldn’t be jealous that your SO was in Europe…for free…for a week or more..? – but like PP said, his support for you getting to see your family should overshadow that jealousy.  I’d go fo sho!  😉  But I’m really head strong, so that may be just me!

Post # 13
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Definitely go see your family. It’s not like you don’t want him to go, he simply can’t and that’s not your fault. I get that he’s jealous, I would be too, but that’s no reason to make you feel like shit. You’re getting a free flight to Europe! That’s like over $1,000 plane ticket for free!!

To put it in perspective, my Fiance went to Vegas last year and I was crazy jealous that I couldn’t go (stupid bach party thing). Especially when they all got back and wouldn’t shut up about it. BUT I never once made him feel bad for going and I never once asked him not to go.

Post # 14
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@claireos:  First, don’t worry about the paragraphs. We can see them, but you, as the OP, cannot. It’s a glitch in the software that the powers-that-bee are working to fix.

As for the situation you described, I can only say that, in my  opinion, your Darling Husband is being EXTREMELY selfish and is not truly showing love for you by the way he is behaving about this. He is clearly putting his own selfish interests ahead of his wife’s opportunity to do something wonderful.

I completely understand why he would want to go and that he would be very disappointed that he cannot join you, but I don’t think he’s handling this very well.

Having said all of that, in my own case, I would not be able to go unless my husband approved.  However, I would hope my own husband would not only approve but also be enthusiastic about what would be a wonderful opportunity for me.

Post # 16
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree that you should go, and he should be so much more supportive. It’s your family for goodness sake! You’ve got the time, it sucks that he doesn’t but it would be free and it definitely sounds like you deserve it! And it is true that once passed up, you may never get this chance again when kids come along and life gets in the way. If I were you, his immature behavior about the entire thing would tick me off more than anything. 

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