(Closed) I could just SCREAM!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, I saw my apartment on Tuesday, put a bit on Thursday, lost the bid on Saturday. First buyer fell through and got it the following Monday. 2 weeks total. I had been apartment hunting for a few months, but when it comes to real estate I am firm believer in ‘if you see it, if it’s right, get it”

I think you need to be straight with Fiance that you guys want to get a place when it’s right for YOU not when it’s right for MOM. And simply try not to chat with mom about the house hunting process.

Post # 5
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Treasure43: I’m really sorry about all of that.*hugs* That sucks.

I’m going to give some advice of my own now, but it’s just advice. (hehe)

Perhaps you and your SO (or just you for now if he’s still pissed) should sit down (if you haven’t already) and make a list of what you are looking for in a house. Then make a list of what the house you liked had. See if they match. If they do, show it to your SO. Telling him that you were just lucky to find a house that had so many of the features you were looking for. That yes, you still need to look into a few things, get it checked out etc. but that it’s ok to find a house so early, because you knew what you were looking for. But you aren’t stopping the search just because you might like one. It’s not cheating, you can like more than one house at a time. ๐Ÿ˜›

Don’t bring your Mother-In-Law into the conversation AT ALL. Just address “his” issues that he has.

Of course you can find a house early and as long as it is checked by the right people then it’s fine! Jeeze Mother-In-Law, it’s better than not finding one at all.

Post # 6
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I found a condo that I fell in love with after looking for only 2 weeks, I was convinced by everyone that I should keep looking and so I did and 2 weeks later I still hadn’t found anything so I was going to put in an offer on my dream condo and of course…someone beat me to the punch. I cried for a few hours and decided that the next time I fall in love with a place I won’t let it go. I still haven’t found somewhere that I love as much as I did that condo.

I agree with @Rubies: this isn’t your MIL’s house…it’s a house where the two of you will start your family. Just remind your Fiance of this ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeh, I guess I don’t understand why she is so angry? I am assuming from how you wrote that you are currently living with his parents? Please correct me if I am wrong. But if you are, maybe its some sort of hang-up about her baby boy moving out?

I think she will basically get over it (with maybe a few grudging comments throughout the years), but if its the right house, you’ll love it for years. I agree, you’re not putting a bid down, so whats the harm in looking again? If you fall in love even more, then isn’t that the sign to maybe consider putting in a bid?

I’m sorry that this is a problem for you two. Really it sounds like she has an unrelated issue, and she is using this to vent.

Post # 8
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Yikes.  Why is this your MIL’s business?  If it were me (and my in-laws really like to stick their noses in and give advice where it’s unwanted), I would say:

Your son and I are adults, and as we’ve given you no reason to think we’re morons, how ’bout you just trust that we’ll make the decision that’s right for us, and be happy for us when we do?  When and if we want your input, we’ll be sure to let you know.

But then, I have a really low tolerance for meddlesome inlaws at the moment.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 9
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh, and Darling Husband and I shopped for, found, made an offer on, had the offer accepted, and signed on the dotted line to purchase our home inside of 48 hours.  Now, we HAD to because we were moving and shopping from across the country, but my point is that if you do your research and are smart about what you’re looking for, you don’t have to take a year to find the right place.  When you find it, you find it.

Post # 11
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Treasure43: Oh, I can respect that. My husband works for a ranch owned by his parents, so the house we live in is owned by them. The hand-me-down car I drive was from the ranch so for a while they had a say. They own half of “our” horses. They control our free time during parts of the year, because they also own a hunting lodge which they expect us to help out at during hunting season (I’m NOT helping this year, no matter how guilty they make me feel :)). We go through them for insurance because its through his work. So I totally get it. They are involved in every facet, and you want to be an adult on your own.

I think then that this is a situation for that hard talk where you need to get your SO on board, and politely, but firmly tell your in-laws that you need them to respect your authority on your own lives. That is not a talk we’ve had yet, but my husband also understands that I come first now (at least by our understanding of marriage) and he generally sticks up for me. But, this necessary talk is definitely not one I’d enjoy having. ๐Ÿ™ Good luck!

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