(Closed) I could use some advice. – May be a little long.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Make plans for yourself. Start taking a fun class at the gym, at the art store, at a local community college or adult education school.  During that regular time you are away it will give him a chance to go do something as well. And the bonus is you may make friends that you can go out and have girl time as well.

Post # 4
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ditto with what @lefeymw: said. Sign up for a class, join a book club, go to the gym, do some volunteer work-anything you are interested in to free up time for him to be with his buddies.

Post # 5
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve been in this exact situation before. Give him time by making time for yourself. Be good to yourself, pick yourself up and *make* the time for you to do other activities and find friends. Realize that time for yourself and friends *is* an important factor of life that you deserve and go out there and find it. 🙂 What are your interests? Get busy livin’ and enjoy yourself. He will see you are happy settling in and that good energy will all come back to you and your relationship tenfold.

Post # 6
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Definitely ditto what the other bees have said.  Give yourself a few nights where you are the one that’s busy.  That will free up his time to go hang with his buddies – especially if he knows what nights those are ahead of time.  Even if you don’t feel like taking up a hobby or volunteering – you could just go shopping, head to a book store, go to the movies… just something for ‘you’ time, where he doesn’t feel like he can’t go out.  I’d say doing something with other people might help with the not knowing anyone in that area issue (not that it was really an ‘issue’).  Good luck!  It may take a lot of effort to figure out something you enjoy in the area – but the effort will be well worth it in the long run.

Post # 8
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

meetup.com has groups that dont cost much (I was in a mommy, and also a walking group for I think $12 a year) and can go with what ever intrest you have. They are nation wide too. I looked up your city and there was 280 meet up groups. you should look at their calanders they show and see if any of the activities require other money (like cover charges) My walking one never did, but the mommy one we sometimes went places like the Zoo and I had to pay my way.

Just an idea

Post # 10
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

agree with PP… i recently moved to seattle to be with my bf (now fiance), my family lives thousands of miles away (literally). i have a couple friends here, but not as many as he has.

i try to stay busy… join a gym, a club – maybe a book club or something that interests you. you will definitely meet people!

i totally felt the same way in the beginning, but just stay busy and things will start to feel better.

Post # 11
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Just wanted to say that meetup.com is really cool, and maybe you & your fiance can find different groups to join.  I’ve already found a book club and a paranormal investigation group that I’m interested in, so good luck! 

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