- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
I should probably make a throwaway for this, but what the hell.
My soon-to-be-fiance (the ring will be finished on saturday and he said he’d propose not soon after he gets it…) came to me this morning with the “we need to talk” line.
Long story short, he told me two things:
1. His father offered to pay for a big (like, big big) chunk of the wedding (which will have at the very least 150 guests. I really don’t want a huge wedding, but it’s “family tradition” and “only polite since all his cousins invited him to their huge weddings”)
2. His father asked him if he was sure about wanting to marry me
He went on to tell me his father had concerns about me being snappy/easily offended (when you call me fat in front of the rest of the family, repeatedly, I’ll retaliate, sorry not sorry) and not “fitting in the family”.
I’m from a completely different part of the country, was raised in a totally different household, speak a different language and am not used to being around so much family so often, so I get extremely uncomfortable whenever we visit. I keep trying to please this upper middle class family and feel very inadequate as the “farm girl” whenever we’re there. SO has many, many cousins, all of whom are pretty, young and married, most have a baby, and very good jobs. I’m still studying and am not tall, not particularly pretty, and definitely don’t want kids yet.
Last weekend, we visited his family after I’d had an extremely heavy week and felt awful about unrelated things, and had a bad throat infection. I didn’t really participate in conversation much because I just wasn’t up to it.
His father mentioned that weekend as an example of me being standoffish.
I don’t know what to think or do right now. Perhaps I’m overreacting, but I really don’t want to visit his family next weekend as planned.