Thank you ladies for your comments and questions. Perhaps I can answer some of those questions and shed more light on the situation.
@bestbuddies: ”Also, I have to ask…what stopped you before?” To answer this we need to look at the 3 times I tried to join.
Time 1-I was a senior in high school applying to the academy. There was a paperwork SNAFU and the congressional nomination didn’t happen prior to the deadline.
Time 2- I was in college and speaking with the ROTC coordinator at the school I attended. The school I attended was rather small and did not have its own ROTC program, rather those students participating had to drive an hour away to attend all PT, classes, etc at another, larger school. Unfortunately, the mandatory ROTC classes conflicted with mandatory classes for my major. By the time I would have been able to be free of this conflict, I would have been far enough along that upon graduation I would not be commissioned due to lacking certain ROTC courses.Similarly, if I attended the ROTC course, I would have delayed my ability to graduate with my major by up to 2 years which would have put me far beyond my scholarship’s use.
Time 3-I was meeting with a recruiter in the town where I was working. He was an enlisted recruiter who was coming up on the end of his tour. He kept delaying the paperwork, ”losing it” and cancelling my meetings with the officer recruiter for the district without telling me. Seriously, I would show up at the office for a meeting/interview to be told by the recruiter that ”Oh, I canceled it. I didn’t want the enlisted recruits to get jealous of you meeting with an officer”. He was quite a piece of work. In the middle of dealing with him I became engaged, got laid off, moved across counry, and had a job prospect come to fruition much more quickly than anticipated.
So you see, it wasn’t exactly me balking and walking away at the last second. Time 1 and Time 2 I was fully committed but couldn’t get the timing to work. Time 3? Yeah, I just gave up on the recruiter for the area and focused on planning my wedding and starting my marriage.
@EvaBostonTerrier: ”My personal view is that because you discussed this topic extensively prior to getting married, you can’t expect your husband’s views to change. ” We did discuss this topic extensively prior to getting married. We also ended the discussions with the caveat that under certain circumstances we would both be willing to reopen this topic, which is why we have discussed it a couple of times since we were married. Part of our style of making decisions as a couple is keeping everything open for review and future discussion. For example, the big discussion of having children. Yes, we talked about it, decided on a ‘timeline’ (TTC never seems to fit an actual timeline! lol) but we also talked about changing our minds on the number, timing, etc as we got closer to TTC. We want to remain open and flexible to what life throws at us. We understand that we are going to continue to grow as individuals and as a couple and we don’t want our choices at this early stage to inhibit our ability to flourish and make other decisions down the line that would be better for whatever our situation might be.
@zippylef: ”If you really must be military, have you maybe considered just going reserves?” Yes, I have considered the reserves. In fact that was the topic of our most recent discussion…which kind of got interrupted by a call for him to come in ASAP. Technically, I never finished laying out the pros/cons for that one for him! We also haven’t had an opportunity to finish the discussion. He knows that the topic is still open.
It appears that most of you are in agreement that I lost my chance to do that and I need to continue to pursue civilian employment while supporting him. Fair enough. Would your opinion change if you knew that I was a full figured woman at the moment whose husband is sexually attracted only to fully figured women and his main argument would be that I would need to lose weight to join?