(Closed) I cringe when I am introduced as a girlfriend

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry you are going through this.  The “girlfriend” comment made me go ape-sh*t at my Darling Husband after a baby shower for his friend’s wife where everyone was so and so’s wife/fiance at the table except me!  In the time since we met others have met and married and divorced!!  He got the point and proposed within two months.

You are right around the point where its sh*t or get off the pot time.  Sit down and have a serious talk with him and really get his opinion on the subject.  GL!

Post # 4
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Have you had the discussion with him? I’d calmly just bring it up and see what he says. I’m in my 40’s, too, and fi bought a house for us before proposing but I wouldn’t have moved in if I hadn’t known marriage was in the cards for us.

Post # 5
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

i can’t stand girlfriend so much that im getting married to be the wife – and other reasons too of course – we are in love…its a bit different also – im older too and not a girl – im a granny!  its my second marriage…it won’t change our relationship – we’re obviously not having children.  I already live with him and we do everything together – he wasn’t initially for the marriage – but he wants me to be happy so i picked may 25…soooo happy and he is tooo!

Post # 6
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sofiacu:  Thos questions in your origional post-Ask him?

Post # 8
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@sofiacu:  This will sound really obvious, but have you ASKED him?

2.5 isn’t a super long time, but I am surprised that you haven’t had a detailed, serious conversation about marriage by now.

Talk to him! That’s the only way to really know. Explain to him why marriage is important to you and see how he feels.

Marriage is really important to me, and I wouldn’t stick around if it wasn’t in the cards.

Post # 9
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

i decided after 5 years i was ready…he wasn’t sure…but we are in our 50’s – live together, do everything together, vacation together, sleep together…i am ready to be the wife, i want to be more than the “girlfriend” which i told him never to call me – i never ever call him “boy” friend…he wants me to be happy and more than that he loves me so much he doesn’t want to risk us not being together – i told him i would be resentful if my “day” came and went…i am very excited and he is happy now too…I want to shout it out – we are in love – i can barely wait till may – but i probably will….a small affair in the yard…I am sooo excited i have a diamond ring – first ever!  I want him to really be My man…

Post # 10
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think you’re going to have to bring it up or you’ll continue to let disappointment and resentment build up. Maybe he’s paralysed by fear again? 

The actual asking can still be his idea but he needs to know you are expecting it to happen and maybe even discuss a time frame. It doesn’t have to be a propose or a I walk talk, just a conversation between two adults who already know they want to spend their lives together.

Post # 12
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

thanks – its my second marriage – first one for 24 years and divorced – 2 adult children – a grandbaby….he loves me so much that i know he will be happy too and its not like we are starting out…we aren’t having children or buying a house together – we already have wills done up…and we have cats (LOL) i want the special committment that marriage is…i don’t care about the wedding per say – however, he loves entertaining and we are getting married in the yard so it will be nice for him…he is excited looking up flowers that bloom in our area in may and he set me up a pinterest and i show him what i post…id be happy at the clerk of the peace and wish i didn’t have to wait but….time flies as i know…he didn’t propose…but thats ok with me…i am not waiting around for the man to decide.  Im too old for that!  I already tell him what to do…

Post # 13
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sofiacu:  wow well you guys def sound comminted to each other, what is he waiting for? have you tried maybe hinting that you would like that sooner rather than later? maybe he things you are still “cool” with the way things are…just cause you tell him that you dont want to be called “girlfriend” doesnt really mean much for a man…remember sometimes man dont process this things as fast as girls…or like SATC you can call him your “manfriend” and he can call you his “womanfriend” lol…GL and keep us posted…iam sure engagement wont be a problem:)

Post # 14
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Did I sleepwalk last night and write this myself under your username? I am in the SAME boat! 

I am his soul mate, I “get” him, the sex is better than he’s ever had, my son and his son are “brothers” and share a room, toys, clothes, etc. his son loves me, his family loves me, mine loves him, and we are beyond happy. But he’s slow to choose marriage with me. He’s also unsure of another child. But when his wife left him 3 years ago, he begged her to stay and mourned the fact that he couldn’t have another child with her. 

We have only been together 7 months. I am 35 and never married. I want marriage very much. I lightly brought up marriage in November. After much resistance, I said I wouldn’t bring it up again for another year. I’m willing to wait until this November, but I want REAL answers.

If he is no closer to marriage try then, I will just walk. I need a plan in place before I use up my 30s. He proposed to his ex after 9 months and she cheated. If he loved her enough to marry her, I deserve a marriage, too. 

Post # 16
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@sofiacu:  Wait, he proposed? Wonderful!!!! Congratulations!!

When I was reading through all this just now, it did sound to me like something was imminent. I’m glad that was so!

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