I cussed at my husband and now he wants to kick me out of the house

posted 3 weeks ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

Dear girl, you are in an abusive relationship and this man has messed with your mind so much that you can’t see how horribly he has treated you.  You absolutely don’t deserve any of this.

Please get out of this relationship NOW!  If you don’t feel able to confide in a friend or relative, then ring a helpline for those in abusive relationships (I’m sure if you post your general location, someone on here will be able to advise).  Also, if you feel suicidal, please again reach out to whatever support is available in your country.

You are not worthless or a failure or any of the terrible things he is trying to make you believe.  And there is a much better future waiting for you – you just need to be strong enough to leave him.  That is such a huge step, but you CAN do it.  

Please be careful how you do it though – leave without telling him you are going (or where you are going) and if possible, tell someone else in advance for your own protection.  Stay safe and stay in touch – we are all rooting for you here.    

Post # 33
Member
635 posts
Busy bee

 

Bee, I hear your fears. I see you. I understand, all too well, the fear of people discovering that you’ve put up with abuse for far too long. You know exactly how bad this relationship is, and you know that people that love you are going to be appalled at how you’ve been treated.

But girl, they are going to be appalled AT HIM. Not you. They are going to be furious at HIM. Not you. They are going to be sad at what you’ve been through, not ashamed of you for it happening.

Should you have run away a long time ago? It does sound like it, and you know it. But that’s the past. There’s nothing to be done about the past. All you have control over is the NOW. And TOMORROW.

 

So take the most important step. The only step that ever matters: the next one.

 

Whatever mistakes you feel you made in the past by staying with him, etc, are irrelevant now. Focus on putting one foot in front the other. Focus on the very next thing you need to do. Focus on where you want to be tomorrow. Don’t let your regrets about your past choices keep you locked in a current and future hell.

Let your family and friends love you. Let them help you. Let them help you rebuild. Don’t torture yourself because you’re afraid of what they’ll feel. If they love you, they would want to know, and want to help you. Let them help you.

Post # 34
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

You are worth so much more than that ! You should never let a man or anyone make you feel anything less than that ! It sucks bc it was 6 years of your life…. but I agree with everyone else… your not tied to him. No kids or anything . It’s never too late to start new . You got this and you are strong enough ! You can do it ! 

Post # 35
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2022

View original reply
@jdbc0615:  Oh how my heart breaks for you, the negative words are his ideologies and thoughts manipulating your mind. You are worth so much more than what he puts you through. You need to leave him to be happy, your family will always accept you with open arms especially if you’ve been through trauma. They are the first ones you should go to for support, leave him and fast. You deserve so much happiness, bee, and with him you will never be happy. Be grateful you aren’t legally married and leave him, spread your wings and work on what makes you happy, because it doesn’t sound like it’s him. If you ever need someone, I will be there for you, just reach out! I hope you can find the strength and courage you need to stand up against his belittling and bullying. You are worth more than this. 💗

Post # 36
Member
3188 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

There is nothing wrong with you. You do not deserve his abuse. Everyone makes mistakes–forgets things, spills things, etc. That doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with them or they are a bad person. You deserve to be treated so much better. Hold your head high and get the hell out of there. I’m grateful that you have your parents house that you can move to. 

Post # 37
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

do what he says. Pack your shit and leave, and thank whatever diety you believe in that you didn’t marry that man legally, so separating your lives will be easy.

He is controlling and emotionally abusive. You have accepted his treatment as love, but he isn’t being loving. Real love isn’t belittling or controlling. Please, please, PLEASE find some help in escaping your abusive relationship. If you don’t have family or friends who will support you out of it, there’s domestic violence hotlines or women’s shelters who will. 

This is not what a relationship is supposed to be. 

Post # 38
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - Mackinac Island, MI

The people that love you will be more disappointed you stayed with someone like that than they will be for you leaving him. Get out bee! 

Post # 39
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

All of this! You must leave. 

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