One of my coworkers just ADORES babies. She goes ga-ga for them and if someone brings a baby into the office, she has like a homing device. She will hold them, and cuddle them, and play with them, and tell everyone she LOVES babies. I am like, the opposite, since I run and close my office door until the baby has left the building!
But…once they get to about 1, she has little interest. Like you, she is also very aware of the reality of what parenting would mean for her and her husband’s life. She, like me and you, is CFBC. So we come in all sorts of different forms 🙂
I think this is fantastic advice. I know very well the old adage is “if everyone waited until they were 100% ready no one would have kids
” (because I have heard it told to me many times) and so some may disagree with you, but I don’t really agree with this adage or the prediction. It is after all a subjective
100% to you and your partner, so your 100% might be someone else’s 50%, or heck their 100% twice over. Having children, choosing to become a parent, IS a big life changing decision. I personally would not get married, change careers, go back to school, move countries, or heck get a new tattoo, if I was feeling only “somewhat” on board with the idea, so it has never made sense why people are encouraged to do just that when it comes to parenthood.
OP: I obviously am CF so can’t speak from the perspective of feeling ambivalence and choosing parenthood, but I was someone who had a lot of ambivalence about having children/parenthood in my 20s before choosing to be CF. I just wanted to comment that it is no more or less selfish to consider a life free of children than one with them. Even when people have children, they are doing it for reasons relevant to themselves, there are always “I wants” in there. So, I am just saying that the right decision is the one that is right for you. For me, the balance tilted right over to a life free of children and parenting; that was the life *I* wanted. For others, the balance tilts over to having children and parenting, that is the life *they* wanted.