(Closed) i d k how to do this right…. help pleaseee.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would wait until you are married and announce it then with a wedding picture personally. Are you planning on doing it sooner or later?

Post # 6
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, I see what you are saying. I wouldn’t announce your plans officially, just answer only those who ask and avoid giving details. Something like, “we are still trying to go through our options” or similarly vague in nature. You can also mention that you are planning on doing an intmate affair early next year. I would still only answer when asked rather than tell everyone at once. I realize that gets old really quickly but I personally think its weird to announce something you aren’t inviting others too.

Post # 7
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would agree that sending announcements after the wedding would be best.  Otherwise it’s just announcing “You’re not invited!” which is kind of rude.

Just tell people you’re not sure yet and/or you’re leaning toward a super-small or private ceremony.

Post # 8
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would wait until your married to send the announcement.  If you decide to have the party afterward, I don’t think you need Save-The-Date Cards because 1) i’m assuming it’s less formal and therefore they don’t need to save the date for a party, the invite is sufficient. 2) you may change your minds after the ‘elopement’ and house and not want the party anymore anyway.

Good luck!  Smart girl.  i LOVED our wedding and wouldn’t change it, but [email protected] we spent a lot of $$ that could have gone to our LA mortgage!! 

Post # 9
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If it was me id probably use the epics on some sort of “we got married!” post card thingy. A part of me wishes we would have done what you guys are doing. Instead we’re renting till we can find a house we like. We could have put alot of money toward a home.

Post # 10
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think what I’ve heard of is people eloping with their close family and having a “Celebrate the marriage of” party, not a reception.  I don’t think you should expect gifts for that though (although I bet some will give them).

I definitely see the idea of saving the money for a house!  I think a lot of people are doing that these days.


Post # 11
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hmmm…we did something similar and by no means did I think at any phase was I being rude in telling people we are having a private, intimate ceremony with immediate family only. I was hounded with the sane questions when we got engaged and after we made the decision for a private ceremony with our families so about 12 people total, we told those who asked. I wasn’t going to lie or hide it from them, that’s being rude in my eyes. How you choose to get married quite frankly is no ones business and we did it for much of the same reason; we were building a house and a big wedding wasn’t as important to us. I don’t see an issue with telling people your plans who ask and if you want to do a formal announcement afterwards, go for it. We didn’t bc everyone who was important knew and it didn’t really matter to me if Darling Husband 3rd distant cousin who I’ve never met knew we got married. Everyone was pretty supportive; yea there were a few bad apples that didn’t get it but they freak over anything outside the norm!

Post # 13
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

when people ask, i think i’d tell them up front that you aren’t having a traditional wedding- just a small dinner with your immediate family.  i’m not trying to downplay your day, but if you phrase it that way, no one can legitimately feel shafted.  then i would use the fabulous e photos as a formal announcement once you are hitched. 

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