Post # 1
My Fiance and I have decided and after discussing our future goals and our pocket books that having a wedding isn’t the smartest thing to do right now.
We would like to purchase a house soon and we would prefer to put the money for the wedding as a down payment.
We would like to have a small ceremony at nice location somewhere in the states. Sort of eloping but having immediate family to attend.
What is the proper way to send notifications of our marriage or our plans? We are getting e-pics and IDK if we should use those as a way to announce the plan….. Or should we just wait until we’re married and send our an announcement like the “STD” type of post card/pic. Everyone keeps asking about the wedding date and I would like to notify everyone somehow…
Also, we are thinking of having a party/wedding party once we get back with our close friends and family.
Is there any proper etiquette for this??
Post # 4
I would wait until you are married and announce it then with a wedding picture personally. Are you planning on doing it sooner or later?
Post # 5
we are planning to do it in april or may. everyone keeps asking and idk if there’s an official way to tell people…
instead of save the dates using e-pix, maybe tell them that way, and send wedding pic when we do get married. idk
Post # 6
Yeah, I see what you are saying. I wouldn’t announce your plans officially, just answer only those who ask and avoid giving details. Something like, “we are still trying to go through our options” or similarly vague in nature. You can also mention that you are planning on doing an intmate affair early next year. I would still only answer when asked rather than tell everyone at once. I realize that gets old really quickly but I personally think its weird to announce something you aren’t inviting others too.
Post # 7
I would agree that sending announcements after the wedding would be best. Otherwise it’s just announcing “You’re not invited!” which is kind of rude.
Just tell people you’re not sure yet and/or you’re leaning toward a super-small or private ceremony.
Post # 8
I would wait until your married to send the announcement. If you decide to have the party afterward, I don’t think you need Save-The-Date Cards because 1) i’m assuming it’s less formal and therefore they don’t need to save the date for a party, the invite is sufficient. 2) you may change your minds after the ‘elopement’ and house and not want the party anymore anyway.
Good luck! Smart girl. i LOVED our wedding and wouldn’t change it, but [email protected] we spent a lot of $$ that could have gone to our LA mortgage!!
Post # 9
If it was me id probably use the epics on some sort of “we got married!” post card thingy. A part of me wishes we would have done what you guys are doing. Instead we’re renting till we can find a house we like. We could have put alot of money toward a home.
Post # 10
I think what I’ve heard of is people eloping with their close family and having a “Celebrate the marriage of” party, not a reception. I don’t think you should expect gifts for that though (although I bet some will give them).
I definitely see the idea of saving the money for a house! I think a lot of people are doing that these days.
Post # 11
Hmmm…we did something similar and by no means did I think at any phase was I being rude in telling people we are having a private, intimate ceremony with immediate family only. I was hounded with the sane questions when we got engaged and after we made the decision for a private ceremony with our families so about 12 people total, we told those who asked. I wasn’t going to lie or hide it from them, that’s being rude in my eyes. How you choose to get married quite frankly is no ones business and we did it for much of the same reason; we were building a house and a big wedding wasn’t as important to us. I don’t see an issue with telling people your plans who ask and if you want to do a formal announcement afterwards, go for it. We didn’t bc everyone who was important knew and it didn’t really matter to me if Darling Husband 3rd distant cousin who I’ve never met knew we got married. Everyone was pretty supportive; yea there were a few bad apples that didn’t get it but they freak over anything outside the norm!
Post # 12
thanks ladies!!!!! 😀 idk what i would do without this site!
Post # 13
when people ask, i think i’d tell them up front that you aren’t having a traditional wedding- just a small dinner with your immediate family. i’m not trying to downplay your day, but if you phrase it that way, no one can legitimately feel shafted. then i would use the fabulous e photos as a formal announcement once you are hitched.