Post # 1
My Fiance and I got engaged last December, and aren’t due to be married until next April. So our plans have been moving frustratingly slow, also due in part to a very unhelpful wedding planner allocated to us due to it being a destination wedding!
My Fiance and I have just starting thinking about stationary and save the dates, and in a moment of excitement and slight frustration I texted a number of my friends, asking for addresses.
Since then we have decided to do save the dates for international guests only, which is fine, but we have since had to crop our potential guestlist, and now, 6 people I sent a text out to, probably wouldn’t make the cut.
Should we suck it up and invite them, even though we are over budget, or would it be acceptable to pretend it never happened (the proper invites now won’t go out for a number of months) or could I just send them an email, and appologise?
Any help is appreciated, though no obviously rude answers would be appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
I think it depends on how you asked for the address. Did you say something about it being for wedding invites? If no then if they ever ask just say you were updating your christmas card list. but you could also be honest and say you got carried away and have since had to scale back the invite list.
Also can I suggest that if it is a Destination Wedding and people will have to travel/take leave/save that everyone invited should get an STD. Also it can be confusing for guests if some people get STD’s and some don’t. If they communicate at all with each other it can make people think they weren;t invited and then B-listed when they get the invite.
Post # 4
I think if you mentioned a wedding invite would be forthcoming, it’s in incredibly poor form to not follow through. Suck it up and invite them.
Post # 5
I never mentioned what the address request was for, it was a very short text..
Post # 6
I feel like you should just invite them. If it is a destination wedding, chances are they won’t make the commitment unless you are close friends, in which case, I’m sure you would be glad to have them. That’s just my opinion but I would notice if you asked for my address and never sent an invite.
Post # 7
Obviously these people you asked for their address know you are getting married. Asking for it and not following through is rude. You shouldn’t of asked until you were 100% certain you were going to follow through with it. Suck it up, as you said, and invite them.
Post # 8
@ella84: Even though you didn’t specifically say the addresses were for the wedding, I’m sure they were able to put two and two together. Are you sure you can’t invite them? There’s a good chance they won’t come because it’s a destination wedding.
Post # 9
It’s very rude to ask a guest for their address and then not send the save the date. You shouldn’t have approached anyone without being certain that they were invited. Now, I think that you do have to invite them.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
I would invite them. You bascially already have…
Post # 11
I have agree with others – even though you didn’t state it was for wedding invitations, it was overtly implied just given the timing of the request and the fact that most know you are in the middle of planning. For six people, I do think you should extend the invitation. Chances are, it being a Destination Wedding and all, you will get a few more “NO’s” that you are initially expecting just because people won’t want to/be able to/can’t afford to go. My vote: send them the invite.
Post # 12
I do think you need to follow through and invite, but to echo what others are saying: since it’s a Destination Wedding, there’s a healthy chance that these friends won’t be able to make it -especially if you guys aren’t “I would jump in front of a moving train for you” close.
Post # 13
I think you need to invite them. I also wanted to comment on the PPs’ comments that it’s a Destination Wedding and they probably won’t come if you’re not that close. We are having a Destination Wedding and thought that as well, and as our RSVPs are trickling in, we have been shocked at the people we expected not to come, including our “courtesy invites,” that have decided to make a weekend out of it and are coming. So I wouldn’t count them out necessarily.
Post # 14
as long as you didnt mention that it was for the invites, dont worry about it. If they question you, tell them you lost your address book and had to get a new one. Itll blow over unless you are a really bad liar.
Post # 15
due to it being a dw- i think everyone should get a save the date. how else would they be able to save up the extra thousand to attend. i have found that more guests decline the invite due to the costs involved, leaving more space for these other 6 people.
But u cut these six off the list, as in they are not as important to me? dont fool them in thinking u want them there, but don’t really.
Post # 16
Almost everyone I asked for an address followed up by commenting on the wedding. If you want to avoid inviting them, then send back a “thanks, just trying to get my christmas list in order” or send them a card quick for the 4th of july 🙂