I did it! Feel a lot better

posted 1 year ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Wow!  I’ve never heard of anything like that!  Congratulations though!

Post # 4
Member
7129 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Congratulations on taking care of that. It seems like that would be a nagging frustration, to have that over your head. I’d also never heard of this practice.

My mother lives with us anyway so we’re all taking care of each other, but what do they do if you have two healthy living parents who are no longer married to one another?

Post # 5
Member
386 posts
Helper bee

lauralaura123 :  Maybe I’m going against the grain but I actually admire your country’s laws, making children partly resonsible for their parents. Most if not all parents spend a chunk of their livelihood and best earning years on their kids and too often they have to turn to their government for pension etc when they get old while said child moves on with their career, family and loans. Maybe I’m being quite fusty in my views but I dont see the harm being obligated to helping parents out?

That said, I certainly dont mean to preach to you how you should live your life. I’m happy for you that you took the steps you needed to, to protect your assets. If you have suffered under your father’s care, you have every right to carve out your own terms with him as a grown up.

I had a rough childhood too (emotionally and physically abusive parents) but I help them financially now a little bit and would do more if he had no other means to fend for himself. I cant imagine not doing so if I have the means to. I am sure I”m not alone, loads of people do even more with no fuss. Its just my belief system – and it matches Russia’s apparently lol.

Post # 7
Member
5757 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

RayofLight :  The difference being that having a child is a choice, so you are going into the situation knowing the financial implications. A child doesn’t choose to be born so to legally mandate that they “owe” someone for their conception alone is absurd.  

I think you would be surprised by the amount of parents who do not offer their child a good environment to grow up in and legally forcing them to “pay back” their parents for a shitty upbringing seems unfair at best and cruel at worst. This would be a policy that disproportionately affects the poor and reduces social mobility. 

 

lauralaura123 :  OP well done for taking this step, I know you have posted about this before and it is good you finally have somewhat of a resolution. 

Post # 9
Member
6170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Way to go Russia! Government gives no financial support to majority of seniors and sponges off the kids to pay for care/life. Horrible. 

Post # 10
Member
5551 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
RayofLight :  i for one am thankful that we don’t have those laws. My mother is mentally ill and emotionally abusive. She would take everything you have, then turn around and say that you are an abusive asshole behind your back

I don’t take one dime from my mother (and when she was in my life, she reminded me every. single. day. about how much she did for us when we were young, when ironically, she neglected us and it fell on my older sister to do the parenting, but yeah, I guess she gave us money or whatever) and she still tells everyone how much I use her. She told people not to tell me about an inheritance she received because I would go after her money or some bullshit.

I’m glad that you’ve made amends and are able to help support them. But the idea that children should do that by law because of what their parents did for them when they were little, is unbelievably simplistic.

My mother would LOOOOOVVVEEEE that

Post # 11
Member
5551 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
lauralaura123 :  does this law still apply even though you don’t live there anymore? Is this something that he would have to enforce or does the government do it automatically?

I’m glad you’re taking steps to protect yourself. How has your anxiety been (I remember that you were recently diagnosed with gad)

Post # 12
Member
8258 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Great news! One shitty man closer to being out of your life…now how about that boyfriend of yours? 

Post # 13
Member
5551 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
RayofLight :  to add, my sister paid my mothers rent for a year. Then my mother took off, screwing over the land lord and almost harming my sisters relationship with the landlord.

Then she told anyone who would listen that my sister ran up her credit cards, left her in massive debt, and tossed her out on the street

That’s the appreciation my sister got for putting a roof over her head for a year. Nothing but lies 

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