Post # 1
I finally just decided that it wasn’t the money woes, it wasn’t his lack of career ambition, it was his passiveness. His passivity extended to every aspect of our relationship. He didn’t care much about a career, a mortgage, paying his bills, or taking me out to dinner. He loved me, that I know. And I loved him. But he has this “Ho hum” attitude that no longer struck me as “easy going and laid back” but as a serious lack of drive and assertiveness. He didn’t even fight me on the breakup. I was sort of hoping for some grand romantic gesture, or pleading, or anger. But he was just kind of like “Well, it seems like you made up your mind.”
We’ve toyed with the idea of breaking up since mid-November, but Christmas kind of got in the way of all of that. In the past when we “tried” to break up, I was so torn about it. So broken-hearted. I could not imagine living without him.
And there were tears this time too, but mostly all on his end. I wish that things were different, and I wish that love was enough. But, after listening to the advice of my mother, my best friends, all of you ladies, and pretty much everyone else in my life, I realize that its not fair (nor is it possible) to ask someone to change who they fundamentally are at their core.
This time it feels much more final. Apartment keys were exchanged, facebook statuses were updated (his says “Single” now and mine is blank). It feels sad and very final.
I love him so so much. But I know in my heart that we are too different, and have very different goals for our life. Just wanted to update you all and let you know what I decided.
Post # 3
“He didn’t even fight me on the breakup” oh im so sorry and im sending lots of hugs for you to be strong and have a happy future…. it WILL happen, have faith in that you are a wonderful strong person that will have happiness, love and desire in your life
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I’m so sorry, but it sounds like this was the right decision for you. We’re here for you!
Post # 5
aww i haven’t read any of your previous posts, but it sounds like you made the right decision. i used to be in a similar situation, lack of drive w/jobs, money, school, US; it finally drove me away!! especially if you couldn’t shake the thought that maybe ya’ll should be broken up, thats usually a pretty reliable sign. stay strong, you are right when you say you can’t change a person. you are meant for someone else and you will find each other soon enough!
Post # 6
oh honey. i am SO sorry! but you know in your heart it is for the better. it will take a lot of time to heal and move past this – but you will. I just wanted to give you hugs and tell you “everything will be ok”. I know you may not want to hear that right now…or maybe you do – either way it’s true.
I just wish you all the luck and love in the world and hope that things get better for you.
Post # 7
I just want to reach through and give you a hug! It will get better. I promise! But for now, it’s ok to just be sad. 🙁
Post # 8
(((((HUGS)))))) i’m so sorry to hear of this news, but it sounds like you’ve made the right move…and with immense thought, knowing that in the end it will be better for you. Things will get better and each day will reaffirm your decision!
Best to you, and know that when tough days come, the hive will be here for you 🙂
Post # 9
So sorry 🙁 As long as you stay true to yourself, that is the most important thing. It may not be much comfort right now, but as horrific as one of my break-ups was – I wouldn’t avoid having to deal with it for the world. It sucked, but I came out of it a better, stronger person and it has made me a better partner to Fiance. Take time to pamper yourself during this difficult period. And also know that there are beautiful things awaiting you on the other side of all this.
Post # 10
You deserve better! Sometimes men have a lack of ‘common sense’, he isnt even TRYING to make it work out??? WTF! You guys are engaged to be married, this is a serious time in your lives and he’s treating it like its no big deal, you dont want a husband like that, you want a man that will be your teammate and stick by you through thick and thin, good luck with everything, and IF and only IF you still love him and he does you, I hope he will come to some sense and try to make it work!!!!!
Post # 11
So sorry to hear, but time is truly the healer of all wounds. You will look back on this months or a year from now and realize it was the best decision. Stay strong and true to yourself
Post # 12
((((HUGS!)))) Stay strong, this sounds like the right decision. And moving forward, now you seem to have learned a TON about yourself and what you want/need from a partner. Love from the hive ALWAYS!
Post # 13
I’m so sorry for this. It really sounded like you weren’t happy with the relationship lately and it isn’t good that you want to change him in the relationship. I’m sure that you will find someone who is better suited for you.
Post # 14
I am sorry about the way that it ended up working out. However, I am really glad that you took the time that you needed to make sure that this was the decision that was best for YOU. I know that things are tough for you right now….but day by day things will get better for you.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry and just like MissAsB said I hope you find someone better in time.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
so sorry about all this, but it sounds like you really have your head on straight and you knew it was the right thing to do….I don’t recall your other posts, but it sounds like if you had stayed with him you probably both would have ended up unhappy.
I hope you make it through all the changes with ease and that you find someone right for you soon. You deserve it!