Post # 17
Oh man.. this is tough. It really sounds like you made the good decision, a hard one.. but a good one. I am so glad you could see that yall werent fit for each other and now you can move on with your life and find someone for you that will be your best fit
Post # 18
I’m sorry hun but hopefully you have made the decision that you feel is best for you and that you can move on without regrets…i wish you the best of luck
Post # 19
It’s always hard breaking up. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through with this one, with him not fighting for you, etc. Just remember that it’s the best thing for you, you deserve someone who wants to fight for you. Big hugs.
Post # 20
- Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House
Honey, I’m sorry that you’re going through this 🙁 Breakups are always tough but it’s worse when your partner doesn’t even fight for you. I went through a similar situation with my last ex-boyfriend (the one I dated before I fell in love with my husband). He had the exact same lack of drive and ambition and in the end I was finally starting to realize that was just not something that meshed with my ideas/wants/goals/dreams. He ended up breaking up with me and after a lot of back & forth, heartbreak and mental anguish (it was not an easy break), it finally ended. I can say that I am a lot happier now because I am with someone who has ambition and wants to set and meet goals. Plus we have so much more in common than I ever did with the ex. Hold your head up and know that you will get through this!!!
Post # 21
Thank you ladies for all of your nice words. It IS hard, but truthfully, it is much less hard than it was a month or two ago. I have kind of resigned myself to the idea of us not being good partners for each other, despite the fact that we love each other very very much. It’s not particularly “romantic” to break up with someone over finances/career/ambition when you truly love that person, but as many of you have said, marriage is way more than just love.
I fear that if we had actually gotten married, our marriage would have been filled with resentment on my part, and we probably would have gotten divorced.
The worst part is feeling like I broke his heart. I think he didn’t fight me on it because he is very passive and he feels overwhelmed. I know this is killing him, and I feel so terrible about hurting a man that I love so much.
Post # 22
Thiscan’tbehappening, I’ve read your other posts before and I know what a hard decision this was. You have been back and forth for awhile. I think you made the right decision but I know it’s hard. It might take awhile, but months/years from now you’ll look back and see that you got yourself out of a unhappy situation that was going nowhere. You’ll thank yourself for this. Promise. (I was in your shoes about 5 years ago and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.) It might be hard to think dating again, but I do think that there is someone better out there for you. Good luck and keep us posted. Thinking of you.
Post # 23
This breaks my heart. I am so sorry….
“He didn’t even fight me on the breakup” is the big thing. If he can’t fight for something he loves, then he never will. you will find someone who can treat you like the princess you are. Don’t ever settle. Listen to your heart and stay strong.
Post # 24
You know what honey, you can love someone and they can NOT be a good match for marriage. I hate to say it, but you DO need more than love in a relationship. You can love someone all you want, but if you don’t have all the other things, I don’t see how it can work, so I totally, completely, 100% understand.
I think you did the right thing. His heart will heal and so will yours. Truly. I broke up with a guy years ago for the same reasons (he was so apathetic and unambitious and money problems, etc) and it’s always for the best. And I hate to say it, but while it may be killing him NOW, he certainly didn’t sound like he made an effort to change or put up a solid fight or sit down with you and try to work it out.
Try not to feel too guilty. You gotta take care of yourself. Life will get better in a few months! Focus on YOU and doing the things you want to do. Enjoy the things you didn’t do when you were in a relationship and relish those things. It’ll help take the sting off not being in one.
Post # 25
I think you did the right thing. If you are 100% sure that you want to marry someone, then you shouldn’t be marrying them. I that marriage is going to be a difficult challenge and if you already feel like you picked the wrong person to do it with in the beginning, it’s only going to get worst.
Hang in there. You did the right thing.