- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
I’m also in the “good for you” camp. Yea, it’s petty, but fuck it. He was in the wrong, and sometimes things like this bring closure to a person. You likely just expedited what was already going to happen eventually anyway.
Here’s my “crazy” story: I had an ex who I really grew to hate by the end of our relationship. He was a compulsive liar. He lied about his military career (he grossly exaggerated his involvement, titles, and accomplishments), lied about being offered a job with the police, lied about having thousands of dollars in savings (I was working my ass off to pay our bills while he freeloaded and promised he was trying to access his “funds”), lied about his family, his education…..anyway, long story short – he was the kind of person who could not be trusted.
So, while we were dating, he had been trying to get into the police force but never passed the psych tests (lol, gee, I wonder why?). A couple of years after we broke up, I get a call from him someone who wants to speak to me about my ex’s candidacy for the police force for a very small town outside of the city that we live in. My ex had given my name as a reference!! I couldn’t believe he had used MY name of all people (knowing that we ended things on bad terms!), and also that he didn’t even tell me about it! Anyway, I took the reference call and answered all of the questions completely honestly. I told the interviewer that my ex was a comulsive liar, I told him about his REAL military record to make sure the ex hadn’t fabricated that, and I made sure they knew that he had been denied 7 or 8 times by the city police. The interviewer asked me why I was telling him all this, and I responded, “because I wouldn’t want this guy in uniform. He is not someone who should have any kind of power”. That alone sealed the deal, and I was thanked for my honesty.
I never heard from the ex, and I didn’t bother to tell him that I did the intrview. But, I did see on FB through mutual friends that he was working as a security guard, so I guess he never made it as a police officer. If he had screwed me over but was still a great candidate, I probably wouldn’t have been so petty, but knowing him the way I did, there is no way I would have endorsed him for the job. It was satisfying on a personal level, sure, but it was more so about doing what I thought was “right”.