(Closed) I did something crazy but have NO regrets! Just need to vent!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m also in the “good for you” camp. Yea, it’s petty, but fuck it. He was in the wrong, and sometimes things like this bring closure to a person. You likely just expedited what was already going to happen eventually anyway.


Here’s my “crazy” story: I had an ex who I really grew to hate by the end of our relationship. He was a compulsive liar. He lied about his military career (he grossly exaggerated his involvement, titles, and accomplishments), lied about being offered a job with the police, lied about having thousands of dollars in savings (I was working my ass off to pay our bills while he freeloaded and promised he was trying to access his “funds”), lied about his family, his education…..anyway, long story short – he was the kind of person who could not be trusted.

So, while we were dating, he had been trying to get into the police force but never passed the psych tests (lol, gee, I wonder why?). A couple of years after we broke up, I get a call from him someone who wants to speak to me about my ex’s candidacy for the police force for a very small town outside of the city that we live in. My ex had given my name as a reference!! I couldn’t believe he had used MY name of all people (knowing that we ended things on bad terms!), and also that he didn’t even tell me about it! Anyway, I took the reference call and answered all of the questions completely honestly. I told the interviewer that my ex was a comulsive liar, I told him about his REAL military record to make sure the ex hadn’t fabricated that, and I made sure they knew that he had been denied 7 or 8 times by the city police. The interviewer asked me why I was telling him all this, and I responded, “because I wouldn’t want this guy in uniform. He is not someone who should have any kind of power”. That alone sealed the deal, and I was thanked for my honesty.

I never heard from the ex, and I didn’t bother to tell him that I did the intrview. But, I did see on FB through mutual friends that he was working as a security guard, so I guess he never made it as a police officer. If he had screwed me over but was still a great candidate, I probably wouldn’t have been so petty, but knowing him the way I did, there is no way I would have endorsed him for the job. It was satisfying on a personal level, sure, but it was more so about doing what I thought was “right”.

Post # 32
1306 posts
Bumble bee

fresh:  You weren’t being petty…you probably saved lives quite frankly. At the very least, you saved that town for some embarrassing news headlines because the truth always comes out.

Post # 33
1610 posts
Bumble bee

annonymous243:  I say you had a lucky escape and I feel bad for the new girl that has to deal with all that. 

He sounds like the biggest mooch ever. That he tries his luck to get as much as he can clearly out of the person, don’t think he will ever change and will bring those down that remain around him. 

As for getting your money back, most likely won’t ever going to happen. He left his mum in 20k debt, he’s not going to be that much nicer to you. You didn’t have any agreement with him to give you the money back and legally he doesn’t have to so your most likely not going to see it again. I would take it as lesson learnt. If it makes you feel any better he most likely got her a CZ ring or is in worse debt trying to get a decent ring. 

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