(Closed) I didn't give my bridesmaids any input in their dress! Anyone else?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


Lovely dress!

I personally hate buying clothes without trying it on first… and I know all four of my bridesmaids agree and are all very self-conscious of their bodies. I did almost the exact opposite of you!

My plan was to pick a designer and a color/fabric, and let them choose a dress that fit their body type.  I thought I wanted some kind of light aqua/mint sort of color and chiffon, but that was all I had sort of planned..

So, when we went shopping to check out different designers, lo and behold two of them fell in love with the same dress. It was a bright vibrant blue, beautiful color, but not at all the aqua/teal I had in my head… And when we looked at the other colors by that designer, I didn’t like any of the other colors.

I came back with my other two girls, and all four of them LOVED the dress, looked gorgeous, and all four of them loved the color…. so it was their dress!

I wound up literally having NO SAY at all. Haha.

However, I am SO SO SO happy it went this way! My biggest goal was for all of my girls to feel beautiful, and maybe even one of them will wear the dress again afterward…  and I think I’ve accomplished that with this dress!

Truth is, two of my girls are pale and would have not looked great in the aqua or mint color family anyway!

Things could not have worked out any more perfectly. And I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about making a decision that someone may wind up not being happy with! 🙂



Post # 4
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@Stephefanie:  I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man multiple times, and I only had input once. But, I also trust my friends’ tastes, and I have never had to wear an ugly gown.

My poor sister, on the other hand, has had to wear some of the most tragic gowns (ex. one was diarrhea brown0.

Post # 5
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I picked out the color and dress for my bridesmaids and maid of honor. They all seem to think it’s cute thankfully!

I chose this dress (middle color.)

Post # 6
10 posts
  • Wedding: July 2016

It honestly depends on the person and personalities. I personally don’t think you were wrong in what you did! Afterall, you could have avoided consulting them at all. Or even picking out something that wasn’t necessarily comfortable. Luckily for them, it’s a pretty dress and a shade that will look great with a variety of skin tones, shapes, and sizes.

Post # 7
46677 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For $52. I am sure they will be happy to wear anything.

Post # 8
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I chose the designer and color (J. Crew) but let them pick the style. So, I sorta chose the dress lol. They had around 6 styles to choose from!

Post # 9
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think your title is misleading.  You didn’t give your BM’s any choice in their dress.  You didn’t let them go out and willy nilly pick whatever they wanted. 


Dress looks fine, i hpe they all are really thin so it will work on them all. 

Post # 10
1159 posts
Bumble bee

I paid for my bridesmaids dress. (I’m also paying for their hair,make up, spa date, accessories, shoes and bought them Return to Tiffany earings as their bridesmaid gift).


I decided to purchase the dresses online from JJ’s house. I told the girls they were free to choose any shade of pink. I also told them they were free to choose any design. By freaky chance they all chose the exact same dress in the exact same colour, it also happened to be my fave dress in my fave colour.


They made their decision in about 5 mins.


I love my girls, they planned by hens night and bridal shower straight away and took 1 weeks annual leave to help me before the wedding.


This is my gorgeous Maid/Matron of Honor in the dress they chose.



Post # 11
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I had one matron of honor who was local as well as one local bridesmaid and one local junior bridesmaid. I took the three of them shopping with me. Ultimately, I chose the dresses based solely on the fact that they literally were the only ones I could find in the color and fabric I wanted and also were in a beautiful style that I loved. Although I thought that the dresses were perfect, in hindsight, I do feel bad about the cost, because they were very expensive. I’m also sure that not all of my bridesmaids would ever have chosen to wear a long, strapless gown. However, I thought they all looked beautiful in the color and style of the dresses.

I should add that, although I married fairly recently (in 2009), I’m older and from an era when the bridesmaids had fewer choices than they do now. I have been in seven weddings, and I had input into only one of the dresses, and that was only because I lived locally to the bride and because there were only two attendants — a maid of honor (me) and a matron of honor (the bride’s aunt, who was much older) — and we had very different body types. The bride allowed us each to choose a floor-length, Watters and Watters suit in the same fabric but in a style that we each preferred.

Post # 12
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well you did pick something that you knew was comfortable, sent them a pic and they all said it was cute, and made sure it’s relatively inexpensive. I still wouldn’t love the idea of having it chosen when I’ve never even put it on if I were them just because I know sometimes I love a dress on a model or mannequin, and then feel like crap in it once it’s actually on my body. I wouldn’t call it bridezilla though – bridezilla is ‘Here is the expensive bridesmaid dress I picked, I really don’t care if you like it or are comfortable in it, if you want to be in my wedding you’ll suck it up and wear it or otherwise I’ll replace you.”

Post # 13
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Stephefanie:  When I went shopping with my girls I already had a pretty good idea of which two dresses in which colors that I wanted. we pulled a bunch of different ones and they tried them all on, but my mind was made up from the beginning. They didn’t know that though 😉 luckily the dresses I liked were actually the most flattering on them, just switched between the two of them. 

Post # 14
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Stephefanie:  If I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and that was only $52, I’d be perfectly happy with that. One less stupid “pick-out-dresses” or “lets-all-go-get-fitted-3-times” day to sit through!

Post # 15
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Depending on the body shape of your brides this could be hit or miss. I’m working with some busty bridesmaids and some uniquely shaped bridesmaids. There’s only one who is shaped exactly like me (i.e. I could try on the dress and it would look exactly the same way on her). 


So I tried to choose a style that worked for everyone (strapless, empire waist, floor length gown). But if your bridesmaids are shaped similarly then I’m sure it will be fine. I wanted to put my girls in a dress that made them feel beautiful and comfortable. 

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