- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2008
So let me preface this by saying, I really do LIKE my mom (I mean, obvs, I love her…but liking is a different thing). 95% of the time we get along like friends, I talk to her multiple times a day, etc. We run into problems because we are SO MUCH alike, as I’m sure many of you are with your mothers.
My mom’s dad (my Poppie) is/was notoriously cheap when she and her siblings were growing up. That “frugality” has been imbedded into my mom and her siblings, but I can’t help but be annoyed by her comments sometimes.
My parents, Fiance, and I carefully worked out a budget with which we had many possibilities and plenty of room to do and have what we like. I am not trying to be extravagant but my mom continues to feel as though I need a reminder about budget, etc. She doesn’t do this all the time. When we went dress shopping, the dress I ended up with with ~$1500 over what I was trying to spend (even though I wasn’t paying for it), but we both loved it so much, she happily shelled out the money.
I’ll mention invitations, favors, etc and she’ll kind of snottily say “well, just remember, you’re working within a BUDGET!!”. Um yes, I know. Then this weekend we found our wedding bands and mine is a 2mm diamond band with 13 stones encircling half of the band. My mother’s response was: “Ugh, does that band have diamonds?? Mine doesn’t eve have diamonds!!”
It makes me so angry but also hurt because I feel like she’s constantly tallying what I’m getting versus what she got when she and my dad got married. I have been VERY lucky to be raised comfortably (as is she, she’s never had to work since me and my brother were born), but I’m not trying to drain their life savings. I just hate that she seems to have a more jealous “I didn’t get that, so she shouldn’t get it either” mindset…aren’t parents supposed to want to give their children what they didn’t have?
Really not trying to sound like a whiny brat, but have any other bees encountered this? It just kinda sucks sometimes. But there have been plenty of times she’s been super happy and willing to do what I want! It’s just these little needling remarks!