(Closed) I didn’t pick someone as a bridesmaid

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Okay, she’s 15. That’s how 15 year olds are. Let her pass out programs or do a reading. Does it really matter that she has her iPod on when she’s passing out programs? I have a 16yr old brother who is just about to get a job and spends a lot of time texting his friends and playing games. However, he is a straight A student and he takes AP classes, he helps out in the house etc. Sometimes he can be immature BUT he’s my brother. Just as this is your FH’s sister. Try and involve her a bit. You definitely are not going to be best friends but making it seem as if you can’t stand her is not the way to go.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly.. to use your words, YOU sound like a very “me” person.  You are only concerned about your own feelings, not those of your husband or your future family.  She’s fifteen, cut her some slack.  I certainly didn’t have a job at 15 and I turned into a quite successful adult.  I’m a big believer that siblings of the bride and groom should be in the wedding party.  Family should come first.  And as a matter of fact putting on a dress and walking down the aisle pretty much IS all there is to being a bridesmaid.  If your other bridesmaids decided to host a shower or bachelorette party I’m sure they would be understanding about the fact that a 15 year old wouldn’t be able to spend the same amount of cash as they could.

Post # 5
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with all of the replys. I think you are expecting a bit much from someone so young. Sure, it might be annoying that she assumed she’d be a bridesmaid, but you should try to include her if you can.

Post # 6
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I can see why you’re upset but I’m wondering – what has your fiance said to his sister about this?  Can he take the lead on handling her behavior?  If it were my fiance’s younger sister I would ignore her (as much as possible) and tell him to handle it.  If it were my younger sibling I would take care of it and quick… 

If he thinks she should be a bridesmaid let him know that it’s not an option and ask him to respect that.  I didn’t tell my husband who to have as a groomsman and he didn’t tell me who to have as bridesmaids and I don’t think it would be a great idea.  That being said I probably would have included a sister of his if he had one but he doesn’t… 

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i’m having my 16 yr old and 13 yr old cousin be “junior bridesmaids”, is that something you could do?

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I disagree with the other posters…. a 15 year old is not old enough to be a bridesmaid.  She wouldn’t be able to participate in the bachelorette party and she wouldn’t be able to contribute financially to help plan a bridal shower.  When I was 15, I had a job and would NEVER sit at a dinner table texting, listening to music, or playing video games.  That’s just plain rude.

I do think you should give her a role like passing out programs, because honestly… if she is acting immature doing that, no one will think the less of you for it, it would be completely on her and her family for not making sure she wasn’t being rude by texting or listening to music.  And you’d appease the family on some level by doing that.

Post # 9
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

She sounds frustrating to deal with, but the wedding is one day. In-laws are for life. If you exclude Future Sister-In-Law you risk alienating your soon-to-be in-laws. I agree with July, why not make her a junior bridesmaid? According to this article, “The role of a junior bridesmaid is perfect for a girl who isn’t quite old enough to be a bridesmaid, but she is too old to be a flower girl.” It also says the typical age of a junior bridesmaid is 8-14, so I don’t think having a 15-year-old junior bridesmaid would be too much of a stretch.

P.S. It’s pretty messed up that your Future Mother-In-Law bought an ivory dress!!

Post # 11
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

She might be immature for her age, but shes still only 15. She’s a kid and thats how kids act. I probably would have made her a jr. bridesmaid. But if nothing else, let her pass out programs. Who cares if she wears headphones? Nobody is going to pay attention or remember that from your wedding day.

Post # 12
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@Regina Phalange: Yes well, the Future Mother-In-Law buying an Ivory dress is 10 kinds of messed up. Also, I do agree that the 15 year old sounds rude and immature but so are many 15 year olds. A reading or handing out programs or being an usher or being around the sign in table etc, anything to get her listed on the program, is not a bad idea.

Post # 13
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Oh, well, now that you have expanded their list of sins…. I say ‘Go with God’

Post # 14
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If it isn’t important to your Fiance, then forget about it.  Try to move on from it and don’t include her.  End of story.  It isn’t required anywhere to include family members in a wedding unless you choose to.

Focus on the fact you and your Darling Husband are getting married and let that family wallow in their own drama.  I will say again, his crazy family won’t reflect poorly on you at your wedding.  Don’t worry about them acting crazy at your wedding, because you’ll be in total bliss with your new husband.

Post # 16
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Eeesh it sounds like there are a lot bigger fish to fry in that family relationship than whether or not Future Sister-In-Law is a bridesmaid. 

The topic ‘I didn’t pick someone as a bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

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