(Closed) I do not feel sexy anymore.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sometimes it helps me to think about what my Fiance sees.

He doesn’t notice the fat (I’m not fat, but I have cellulite and a few chunky areas — but he doesn’t notice that!)

He sees… well… other things if ya know what I mean!


Post # 4
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Honestly the best advice I can give you is to work out; it just gives you a natural high. I feel better about myself when I’m exercising regularly even before I start losing noticeable amounts of weight.

Post # 6
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel for you! I have been both the numbers you have posted at one point in my life.

Get your hormones checked!!

What type of meds are you on now?

Its okay to have love weight, but if you haven’t had any massive changes in diet or activity its probably something out of your control thats going on internally.

Stay active and keep  positive about how beautiful you are and that this is only temporary! You will get to the bottom of the problem/issue.

Post # 7
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It sounds like you’re being really hard on yourself, not that I don’t understand your frustration at what you see reflected in the mirror right now. But you know what you need to do, so just do it. And in the meantime, your Fiance will find you sexy as long as you don’t pull back or become self-conscious in the bedroom. Act as if you’re the hottest sexiest chick in the world and you will be:)

Post # 9
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Rouquine: Oh my gosh!

I’m telling you as evil as those pills are- when you STOP taking them you blow up-making them even more evil. I’ve had countless girlfirends with the problem and that is how my weight shot up 30 pounds in literally a few months. It drove me wild, I hid in comfy clothes and never wanted to put a pair of jeans on or get dressed up. 

I had to workout insanely and really study some nutrition to get into a safe zone. I’m hoping the pills will help me get back to whats good.

Luckily for my wedding, I’m going back on next month. 

Keep me updated on how your pills are going and if you feel better about yourself!

Post # 10
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Kinda a wierd question for you, but do you have regular periods?  I’m asking because I’ve been going through something similar for the last year and I just got diagnosed with PCOS.  Not saying that’s something you have, but it definitely could be hormon related.

Post # 12
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am pretty fortunate in that my weight doesn’t fluctuate much, but I definitely still go through ruts where I feel less attractive. Here’s what I usually do to battle it:

Take good care of my skin (be consistent with exfoliating, moisturizing, etc.) and drink lots of water.

Get a good haircut and spend a little extra time on my hair and makeup in the mornings. Maybe you could try a new shade of blush and lipstick, or even a new haircolor if you’re feeling adventurous.

Go clothes shopping and find a couple of sexy dresses or tops that highlight my best features. It’s always nice to have new clothes you’re excited about wearing, and it often makes me feel much better about my appearance.

Have a romantic dinner with my Fiance. Dim the lights, drink a nice bottle of wine, put on some music and dance in the living room.

And/or focus on the things about him that you find sexy. That helps too!

Post # 13
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The strange weight gain might be a hormonal problem- maybe as others have said, PCOS or a thyroid disorder. Maybe go to your doctor and get some tests done to see if that’s the culprit.

It’s really hard not to pick at the things about yourself that you don’t like- but trust me, Fiance probably doesn’t even notice or care about those things at all. I know that doesn’t make you feel completely better, but it’s a start. Just think about the way HE sees you and it can help you to start viewing yourself in a more positive light. 

If you can, one thing I recommend is to spend a little time and money to dress better to flatter your figure. I’m petite but very hourglass shaped with a little extra weight that I need to get rid of. Like you, I have super wide hips, naturally thicker thighs and a huge ass. I was unsure about how to best dress myself, especially being as short as I am. I was super self conscious and was wearing baggier tops ( mostly all in black) because they made me feel like I looked better- but they didn’t! I looked like I was wearing a tent and ready to go to a funeral. I sucked it up and went shopping and got several tighter-fitting tops in colors that flatter my skin tone and looked far and wide until I found a pair of jeans that just look amazing on me. Since then, I feel better about myself and I’ve been getting a lot more male attention, which feels nice. Fiance even says I look and act like I have more confidence- and I do! I know I still need to lose a little weight, but until I can acheive that, I definitely feel better about how I look. 

Some other things that have helped me is curveappeal.tumblr.com. This site has self-submissions of women of all shapes and sizes and they all look beautiful. I also like mybodygallery.com- You can search your specific height, clothing sizes and shape, and it brings up pictures women have submitted of themslves who fit those categories- this way, you can see REAL people who are the same exact size as you are, and you can realize that you don’t look nearly as bad as you think you do. These are great places for a dose of self-esteem and reassurance in your current body. 

I hope you can start to feel better about yourself soon. I know it can be hard not to constantly pick at yourself and notice every single flaw; but it gets better. I lost a decent amount of weight over the past year and a half by sticking to a vegetarian diet. If you could try that, it really works and I feel great overall. Good luck to you!

Post # 14
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Rouquine: Most women (like me) gain weight on birth control, but if you can lose it, awesome for you! I had horrible migraines when I started too- my doctor had to go through a few different types of BC before I found one that didn’t give me migraines. Most BC has hormones for 3 weeks, then nothing for 1 week, can the sudden change causes migraines. However, there are some BCs that have hormones for 3 weeks, and then some hormones but not quite as much for the last week. It definitely helped my migraines, so if they happen again ask your doctor about that πŸ™‚

I know how it is to be on antidepressants as well. I’ve been on them for about 2 years (switched several times) and have gained about 40 pounds steadily. My Fiance couldn’t be any more supportive though- he goes to all lengths to make sure I know he loves me exactly as I am. I’m sure your Fiance would do the same for you, just tell him how you’re feeling πŸ™‚

Post # 15
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi..I just want to say I identify with you. I struggled w/weight when I was younger and then got to a healthy point where I mantained between 110-120 for most of my 20s. However when I moved in with Fiance last year I ganed nearly 40 pounds. A combo of no working out and eating junk nonstop. It really made me feel not sexy and lower my sex drive. I have been trying to work out and eat healthier and have lost about ten lbs so far. But it has taken MONTHS to lose this and I have already lost and gained these ten lbs multiple times – I have a thyroid issue too & am actually seeing an endocrinologist next month. Hope that helps…in the meantime I do think working out, as hard as it is to get started and stick with it, really improves body image and makes you feel good and like you are working towards something…good luck.

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