- 6 months ago
My husband and I are having major marital issues. We got married 1.5 years ago and are both in our early/mid 20’s.
We had a wedding in January 2018, with no wedding party. The entire wedding costs us less than $2,000. I know that he could’ve afforded a more expensive wedding because he had a really good career before marriage, which paid him ~$90K-$130K in 1 year. He also did not give me an engagement ring. Since we’ve been married, he has not provided me a home (we’ve been living with his parents), he did not get me insurance and a for awhile, we haven’t really traveled (besides to Cancun), and he has not given me children (which I used to obsess about with him). He made $50K since we’ve been married, but always lies to me, telling me that he has $10K. I have a strong feeling that he transfers his money to either his mom’s or dad’s bank account, totalling of $100K-$150K from him. The reason I know he is lying is because we did our taxes together. After giving me nothing, he still wants me to sign a postnuptial agreement after he graduates law school and before we have children. I don’t mind all of this if he didn’t treat me like garbage. I don’t like to complain much, but I am coming to my fellow wives for help.
I want this marriage to be forever, but I don’t think my husband does. I don’t beleive in divorce & I don’t think I will ever divorce, but my husband has threatened me with the word “divorce” since the second month of our marriage. Although my husband has beat me physically many times with bruises & also sweared at me plenty, I am a Christian and I do not want to divorce for any circumstance. I just pray and pray and I hope that my husband comes to love me and is forever loyal to me.
So I am in my father’s house because of my grandmother’s funeral, which was 2 weeks ago. I was suppose to fly back, but my husband told me not to so that he can meet me at my father’s house. He told me to cancel the trip and refund the ticket – so I did. We started talking over text and phone. When i was talking on the phone with him, he blew up, out of nowhere, and hung up on me. He started texting me about how I dislike his family and how I am not tolerable to live with. I wish I could show you all the text messages, because I literally said nothing wrong. He plays the victim and uses reverse psychology on me, for example – if I tell him that he hit me, he will tell me that i hit him… He also loves to project himself unto others, meaning that if he asks me “will you ever take my pen?” it means that he is think of taking my pen. It’s very twisted, and is really emotionally abusing. After him sending all his mean text messages, I was really nice, but he kept acting mean, so i texted him back telling him that i will fly back to our home becuase I need to work things out. He told me to not use his credit card to purchase the ticket, or else his sister and him will sue me. He then said that he will lock all the doors so that i don’t enter the home. So he pretty much is threatening me and kicking me out of OUR home for no good reason.
He kept calling and texting me after 1 week, not even apolgoizing. The stuff he was saying were very hurtful. I never responded. Just 3 days after he stopped calling/texting me back, I was walking with my uncle and sister outside. A big black SUV approaches us, slamming the brakes near our backs, almost hitting us. I look inside the car and it is my husband and his uncle, video taping us. My husband started screaming at me, calling me a theif, saying that i stole his stuff. I didn’t steal his stuff. My sister and I started crying so much because we were in total shock at how he came without notice, scaring us. He finally calmed down and I met with him at Starbucks. I thought that we reconciled and made peace, but then he called me later saying that he is going back home without me. Our plan was that he gets an apartment near his law school, so that we can live comfortablly there. Like I mentioned earlier, we were living with his family, but they were not treating me well. So I was so excited to go live on our own, but then he texted me and said that he does not want to talk about this for awhile. So I thought that i made peace and reconciled to go back together and be together forever, but sadily I’m not sure if he wants that. I know this is sad to say – but I beieve that he came to my father’s house not for me, but for his passport (which I gave to him at Starbucks).
Is he planning to divorce me? Is it because he has another woman in mind? Because he is cheap? Because he wants to go to law school without living with me? Because he has psychological problems? Because he is just a man who does not value marriage overall?
Like I said, I have went through a lot with this man, so that our marriage doesn’t completely crumble. I know this is a difficult situation but I still have hope that he will change into a kind, sefless, loving man.
Please only good intentions & honest responses.