- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I’m freaking out.
My wedding is in 10 days & we apply for our marriage license in 3 days. I have had this nagging fear of changing my last name since we got engaged, & I thought it would subside & the fear would dissipate, but instead it has only gotten stronger.
I honestly feel like I cannot physically stomach the idea of changing my name. It’s a part of my identity!
I grew up with my single dad who is my best friend, and the idea of giving away my last name just hurts.
It’s not just that, but my FI’s last name is just not a name I want to take. It sounds downright silly with my first name, and it’s already a name that gets laughed about at times.
My Fiance is really upset about the fact that I don’t want to take his name. I don’t want to hyphenate, and I don’t want to use my maiden name as my middle name. I just wanted to stay who I have always been my whole life.
We actually aren’t even sure if we want to have children, so that’s not a big deal at the moment. But, if we did have children, I might change my last name then in order to have one cohesive family name.
It does make me sad that my husband & I won’t share the same last name, but the idea of getting rid of my last name honestly makes me cry.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so sad about this whole situation, & it seems that no matter what I do, somebody is going to be upset. To add insult to injury, my dad is pushing me to change my last name to my FI’s too, because as he says “conventional wisdom states that the woman changes her last name. It’s just what is right.” To which I said, “The conventional wisdom that was created my old men looking out for their own reputation and interest alone?” He did admit that “You got me there..”
I just feel so upset here. Please give me advice, support, anything!