Post # 1
Member
7 posts
Newbee
Hi, First to be honest I know my Bf has brought me a ring and expects for me to where it as soon as it is shipped. Basically my question is how did your sister/closest person to you(other than your Fiance of course) respond to your engagement. I called my sister after my Bf purchased my ring to tell her what he was doing, I was almost in tears of joy. But instead of her being excited or atleast happy for me she seem to go out her way not to respond on my engagement at all but to constantly redirect the conversation. I talked to her four other times that day(which is what is common between us two) trying to talk about it with her but giving up after when i realized what was going on. Because of the way she responded I havent told anyone about the engagement except to later tell my mom that he may have gotten me a ring. Me and my Bf have decided that until I have my ring that we will keep it to ourselves until we can show off the ring as well. I want to b excited but it kinda hurts that i cant with my older sis.(she 5 years older than I but we are very close she is like my bestfriend. We often talked and imagined being engaged and how we would be so happy for one another and each other’s MOH) Also when telling my mom she was surprised that my sis even known because she have been with her all week but my sis has not mentioned it.
Post # 3
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
Give her a little time to process the news and get used to it. She’ll come around.
Post # 4
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
If she’s 5 years older, and unmarried, she may feel like a failure, or that you “beat her” to the altar. It’s not personal. She’s probably reflecting on where she is in her life, and she may be feeling sorry for herself. If that’s true, try not to “rub her nose in it” too much. If it’s all you talk about without acknowledging her potential upset, she may resent you and / or your position.
Let her get used to the news. I’m sure she’ll snap out of it and be supportive.
Post # 5
Member
4346 posts
Honey bee
How long have you and your BF been together?
Post # 6
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
There could be a lot of reasons for her actions. She could be feeling inadequate as other posters mentioned, or she could know something about the proposal and be trying to keep it a secret. Whatever it is, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If she’s still acting stand off-ish when you actually get engaged, then maybe there’s a problem.
Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee
@asscherlover: We have been together for almost 5 years now
Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee
@Mrs. Mink: @StuporDuck: Yes she is unmarried,thanks for the advice it is really appreciated, I love my big sis and i dont want her to feel that im being too showy or “In her face” with my engagement.
Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee
Does she not like your boyfriend?
Post # 10
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m sorry she is not acting excited for yOu.
If she’s older or not married or hoping to be engaged she’s probably just envious.
Try to take it in stride and know its not about you but abothrow she’s feeling in her own life.
Congrats!!!!! We will be excited for you!!!
Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee
@soulmates: honestly they had their issues before but they have really grown to like each other on father’s day she went out of her way to write him a very touching letter about how she is happy he is the one im dating and had my son with,
@axeyourmakeupkit: Thanks so much for your advice Im really happy I have joined WeddingBee because of comments like yours! Thanks 🙂
Post # 12
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
Maybe she’s in on a surprise and trying not to give it away?
Post # 13
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
Yeah… my sister (two years older than me) never liked my Fiance and told me one time that I am ‘settling’ by being with him, that he “has no redeeming features”
Wen we got engaged, I told her, she was like oh… wow… really? Not exactly the reaction I hoped for. Although, she also says she doesn’t believe in marriage.
Still, she came around quickly and is trying to be supportive (for ex: flew from NY to CA to come see me try on wedding dresses and check out wedding venues when I was in my hometown for a weekend). It might take time, but it’ll be okay. She’s probably protective, but only wants you to be happy, sooo once she sees this makes you happy… 🙂
Post # 14
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
well i figure its one of two things
she doesnt like your bf – but you seem to say thats not the case
she wishes she was getting married…so its kind of jealousy.
i know a woman who was getting really upset that all her friends were married/engaged, and when her younger sister got engaged it practically pushed her over the edge.in a “whats wrong with me, why am i the only single one” sort of way.
give your sis some time, hopefully shell be more excited later!
Post # 16
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
@Soon2bBNG: I’m sure she’ll come around. I had some nerves my close friends might freak out but they cried and were joyous for us. His older sister was a little less thrilled. She has been going through a hard time in her relationship and eventually admitted she was embarassed that her little brother got engaged before her. Plus it’s hard to see your sibling leave the family, even though you’ll remain close! Congrats!! Would love to hear how things have turned out!