(Closed) I don’t care about card boxes. Should I…?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was having the same dilema a few weeks ago and decided that my dad would just be in charge of collecting the envelopes. I didn’t really feel comfortable with having something on the table as I felt like we would be “asking” for money, but each to their own!

Post # 4
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I think they are two different issues. I don’t think a card box is asking for money. It’s a way to easily transport the cards that people previously deciding they would gift (with or without cash). I like the idea of someone collecting the cards if you don’t have a box, and I think the way you spread your registry info is fine (and traditional).

Post # 5
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you’re not excited about it, don’t put thought into it. It still might be convenient to have a receptacle of some kind for cards, just for convenience. It sounds like your mom’s into it – what a great job for mom! Get her to find you one! One less thing for you to worry about.

Post # 7
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I really don’t really care much about the card box either and I didn’t want to buy one that I will have no use for again after the wedding so we are actually just renting one. One of the paper stores in Milwaukee rents out card boxes in different colors and with different ribbons for like $20 I think it was. You could try seeing if there is a place where you live that rents them!

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I planned on using the same basket that I used for the programs. As it turns out the basket was left at the chapel so people just started placing the cards on the gift table. I had a few questions from guests asking, “where should I put your card?” I would just politely take it and then ask my mom/dad/sister/anyone to go put it on the card table.

Post # 9
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@Lalai: Although some brides believe, and advise others, that not creating a registry encourages people to give cash, you need to remember that your friends and family are not reading the wedding boards. They are taking their cue from their own upbringing and from your attitudes and behaviour. If you come from a culture that correctly sends gifts to the bride’s home, and shows some delicacy about the mercenary implications of giving cash, there is every chance that your friends and family share similar sensibilities. Trust your old-fashioned Mama: she knows the family.

Admittedly, your friends from school and your husband’s family may have different upbringings. That is life. Just cross your fingers that they fall into the hands of old-fashioned etiquette advice such as you have received, or read a non-wedding-specific etiquette book like any of Judith Martin’s books, or do what comes naturally to them without looking for non-existant secret clues.

Because you cannot be sure of the customs of your friends and new family, you WILL need a gift-table at the reception. The most dignified way to handle such a thing is to have it in a separate room, or have it skirted with space under the table to store the gifts, and have your guest-book-attendant or other helpers whisk away the gifts as guests arrive with them and put them discreetly out of sight — which incidentally tends to keep them safer from theft, as well. The card-box should also be discreetly out of sight, so it doesn’t matter what it looks like.

Post # 10
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Theft is an issue if you don’t have a card box – I have heard one too many stories about cards bein stolen from wedding as awful as that sounds. Be careful!

Post # 10
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Theft is an issue if you don’t have a card box – I have heard one too many stories about cards bein stolen from wedding as awful as that sounds. Be careful!

Post # 11
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I worried one would be lost, so I bought an old birdcage at a housewares store and used it.  It looked great in pics, and it was full!  I was so glad I had one.

I don’t have access to my pro pics, but it was a bit like this:

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