(Closed) I dont even know what I want anymore.

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is your wedding really 5 years off? Don’t make any concrete decisions until you’re closer to the date. No need to stress over it now when you may change your mind over and over! Anyway, I’d say it’s wiser to save your money instead of splurging for a wedding. You can still have a meaningful ceremony without blowing your savings.

Post # 4
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@redheadem:  I agree.  I am also curious if your wedding date is the same as you posted on here.

Post # 5
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@redheadem:  I agree. Don’t stress yourself out by shopping yet. Just enjoy being engaged! 

Post # 6
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just thought of more advice, hope that’s ok :-p

Decide the budget based on what you’re comfortable spending, not on what you think you should be spending based on the listed venue prices. Then, search for places within your budget. I think you’ll have the fewest regrets doing it that way.

Post # 7
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you already sign a contract with your venue? If so, they can’t change the price!

Otherwise, I think eloping with a handful of guests at a B&B sounds lovely (and much less stressful!)  I am guessing the price for 40 guests would be closer to $4-5k.  Decide on your budget and ideal guest list and see what fits!  I would not be spending all my savings on a wedding personally.  Thankfully, my parents are paying but honestly if they weren’t I’d just elope at B&B like you’re considering.  

Post # 10
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Barn

I actually went through the same thing recently. We were planning a barn wedding for 100 people. However, since we started house hunting, I started thinking since I want to do so much for the house, get pets, etc, maybe not spend as much on the wedding.

So considered eloping, but made me sad that my family wouldn’t be there, and I don’t want to make them broke coming.

I considered doing a backyard wedding, but I was still in love with the barn.

As of now, we are considering keeping the barn and doing more like 75 people or less.

I think you just need to listen to your heart and see what makes you feel happiest. For us, the barn is one of the big costs, but I’m absolutely in love with it and it’s so us.

Personally, I would suggest avoiding packages with photographer and etc. Unless you really don’t care about that stuff. I know for me, I’m quite picky as who I wanted, and I’m glad I could pick different vendors and make it my dream wedding.


Post # 11
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Okay so your story sounds similar to mine, small wedding, unique wanting it to be about us. We went to a lot of wedding shows to do research and gain information about vendors. I agree decide on a budget that you are comfortable spending and then you can plan from there. If you are willing to spend $5000 for 40 guests then research what is available to you for that price. If you really only want to spend around 1000-2000 I suggest finding a beautiful venue that includes a honeymoon in it like this 


then you can have a couple people come with you that you really want to be there, have a real wedding, photographry and cake is usually included and dinner I think? Have a honeymoon and celebrate your marriage as it is far more special than going to a courthouse. 

If you have always dreamed of having a big wedding or a lot of people come then you will have to sit down find a budget that works for you and plan a full wedding. I have always dreamed of this day and wanted to share it with friends but the cost is very overwhelming and a DIY wedding is even more work than you can imagine, depending on how much time you have. Some of the stress makes me wish I had chosen to spend my money on a vacation and get married at a beautiful resort with my family only. It would have been about us, no stress and less cost. So decide what’s most important to you 


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