(Closed) I don't even know where to post this – is this normal?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yes it is normal. Our first instinct is to survive. The second is to reproduce.

Post # 48
Member
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi All,

I must admit, I stumbled in here by accident as it was a NEWLYWED topic… and I am a Newlywed.

BUT I am also an Encore Bride (and an Oldtimer over 50)… so there are no babies in my future current marriage (unless they be Grand Babies… and for them I too am eager !!)

Anyhow, let me give you all a bit of an Oldtimer’s perspective on this.

As others have said it really is hormonal…

You meet a guy, you fall in love, you get married… and you have sex regularly (juicing up the hormones even more)

So it it ONLY NATURAL that your body wants to have babies… especially so if you are in your prime baby-making years (20s & 30s)

Not to mention, your heart is head over heels in LOVE… and you think your guy is super cute, and you can only imagine how super cute babies made with him would be

See… a very logical, normal and natural progression going on here…

Plus you’ve just come off of one of the most exciting events in your life… Planning a Wedding.  You now are naturally looking for the NEXT THING to plan / do.

Be it a House or Baby… you are eager to do something else as a couple activity.

(Lol, part of the reason, many get a pet… gives them something to “baby” in the meantime)

When I was married the first time (circa 1980), I was in my early 20s.  We were just finishing up Uni and getting our careers established.  We both knew we didn’t want kids right away… needing some time to get our Newlywed Life started… enjoying each other, travelling, outfitting our adult selves (furniture, car, clothes etc)

But that doesn’t mean that for me, that daydreaming about babies wasn’t going on…

And when your mind is fixated on something, then it only naturally will begin to ” see / select ” circumstances that fit that fixation

Hence WHY it seems that everyone else around you is pregnant… or talking about babies (remember too that you are in your baby-making years… so naturally all your friends, peers & colleagues are too)

Lol, I am in my mid 50s and Mr TTR in his mid 60s.  As I said we won’t be having any babies of our own

BUT IF I am totally honest, as a woman I will admit that I can’t help but look at my sexy loving man and “wonder” what if we’d met earlier in life… and circumstances had been different, and we might have had children together… how cute would that be ???

Likewise, with all our friends having Grand Kiddies… or talking endlessly about their Grand Babies (new babies – Birthdays – Christmas – Vacations with them etc) I cannot help but WISH that our kids would hurry up and get going on this so I too can be at what appears to be this “wonderful stage in my life”… and have something new and exciting to share with the man I love so much.

In the meantime…

Like other Newlyweds (and the girl I was at 20 the first time round)… I have loads on my plate realistically that can keep this New Bride busy…

We are just back from our Honeymoon… so there is unpacking, laundry, seeing friends again, a Back Home Reception to plan, legal name-change stuff to take care of, souvenirs to cherish, Wedding Pics to order & beloved Wedding treasures to find places for in our home, and various bits and pieces to go and buy to get our Newlywed Nest up and running to represent the two of us.

And altho Grand Babies will be in my thoughts… realistically I know that once they come along they will change the dynamic of our marriage (less travel… more time at home with the Kids & Grandkids)…

So I also am going to cherish the exact moment of life that I am in now…

Because as someone who has lived a fair bit of life I can tell you… don’t rush time… it will pass you by quick enough (kids are the fastest 20 years of your life)

Cherish the time that you have now one-on-one with your Hubby… enjoy each other… your friends & family that surround you and love you both.  Spend oodles of time together… do mundane everyday / household things together (like go for groceries).  Go out on dates, get dressed up just for each other… go to dinner.  Plan days in bed at home, dirty weekends away.  Vacations and travels to exciting new places with wonderous adventures.  Because as much as you think these things will last forever, truth is they won’t.  Over the course of a marriage things change… even though you say they won’t change (or you won’t let them change).  Once kiddies come along the reality is they will.

And you’ll find yourselves struggling to make each other the full priority that you once were… need to have again.

So ladies… soak up the power of being a NEWLYWED and make memories NOW with your man that will last a lifetime (trust me he will forever remember you as the sexy godess Bride you are now long into his old age).  So rock that while you have it !!

— — —

*WINK* – And that never changes no matter how old the Groom… which is why I’m gonna order me some more pretty lingerie on-line this afternoon.  This Old Broad may be over 50… but I still have it… (and it looks a damn sight better than it will at 75 or 80)  LOL

 

Post # 49
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m due to be married in May and I have been baby crazy since I knew FH was the one. He really wants babies too, but not until we are ‘settled’. He is in his residency for another 2.5 years and then we are moving to another state. I am already going to be 30 soon, and I am not getting any younger! Whenever we see babies I get all smiley and make sure he saw how cute they were. He waves to the little cuties too. He also has names picked out for our future kids. The other day we were watching a movie and he loved the name of one of the characters so he turned to me and paired it with his last name to see what I thought. This made me sooo happy! When I see cute baby clothes and try to point it out he just keeps walking though, so as not to encourage me. I always imagine how a baby/liitle one might internalize things me and FH do. For instance watching our creatures in our tropical fish tank. I wonder if future child will think that Sesame (our fish) is kissing everything because it has big lips, even though it is eating. I also ask ‘what if’ or ‘how would you handle this questions’ sometimes. I just can’t wait!  

Post # 50
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

OMG after getting married… I really wanted kids. So.. we got a dog! She is absolutely the light of my life… aside from hubby πŸ˜‰ 

But now, baby brain is coming back… but it might be a little difficult to conceive a child while he is deployed πŸ˜‰ Lol. Maybe baby making can happen when he comes home πŸ™‚

Post # 51
Member
1741 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yup, can’t stop thinking about babies.  Le sigh.

(It’s an October 2012 thang πŸ˜‰

Post # 52
Member
1588 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I don’t know if it’s normal but I am sort of experiencing the same thing.  And I NEVER EVER EVER thought I would.  Up until about four months ago if you asked me if I wanted to have kids I would have laughed in your face and told you emphatically, “no”.  But…god.  It seems that whole age/hormonal/biological clock thing that everyone warned me about actually has some truth to it.  I find myself actually LIKING to see my friend’s babies…one in particular.  DH and I visited this friend and his wife and I spent the afternoon holding their son.  When DH and I went home I was shocked to realized that all I could think was “I just want to go back over there and hold wyatt”.  And seeing DH walk into their house when we arrived, have our friend say “wanna hold him” and DH just took him in his arms and carried him as we walked around the nursery like it was the most natural thing in the world.  TOTAL out of body!  It was the weirdest thing I ever thought would happen to me.  I was 100% certain I wasn’t mommy material but now I think about what it would mean to be a mom and I find myself feeling like it’s something I’d want.  I see kid’s crafts and activities and parties on Pintrest and I think “I want to do that”.  Luckily, DH is pretty on board with whatever I want, kids or no kids.  But I don’t know what it is!! If it’s marriage or the fact that I’m 26 or something in me is telling me this is the next natural progression.  But all of a sudden…a kid isn’t completely off the table.  In fact, having a kid is now sort of in the middle of the table and our convos have gone from “wow, since we don’t want to have kids we can do _____” to “if we have kids would you want _____” and even a few times “when we have kids…”

Oh, and googling cute ways to announce a pregnancy?  Yeah, I created a Pinterest board titled “never say never” to pin those exact things.  WTF IS HAPPENING

Post # 53
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s normal =) My hubby and I got married on September 21, 2012. Everywhere I go I look at baby things! Hubby makes fun of me but he’s the one that keeps saying he wants babies! We are in the middle of paying off some bills. That is what stopping us from trying to conceive at the moment. If everything plays out well, we would try sometime next year. 

Post # 55
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Two years ago, I would have NEVER thought I would be pregnant right now.  I also got bad baby fever, which I partly blame on DH because when he holds babies and plays with little kids it is just the most adorable thing ever!!! I do kind of think it is that “next big thing” type of thing, but I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom, and getting married seemed to flip a switch in me that said “It is no longer frowned upon to get pregnant since you are now MARRIED!!!” I only stifled it for about 5 months until DH caught the baby rabies too.  We planned on waiting until next year at this time to TTC, but I had issues with birth control, we hate condoms, and just decided we are both very ready to be parents. Our little one is due in September πŸ™‚ So good luck if you are a newlywed trying to stifle the baby rabies, I was not successful πŸ˜›

Post # 57
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

i think its bc when your not married yet all you can look forward to is your wedding day. After your wedding is over, you look forward to the next big step in your lives- BABIES!

Post # 58
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We are wedding date twins and I’m baby crazy. I have a 7 month old nephew & a 4 1/2 year old niece that I get to watch once a week and that helps but also makes me want my own. I also used to be a nanny so I’ve had babies & toddlers in my life non stop for the past 4 years and I just LOVE them!!! When we got married the hubs said we could try in February when we went on vacation to Hawaii (I brought this up right before our Hawaii vacation & he said he didn’t remember saying that…) so we still aren’t TTC, which is fine we’ve only been married 5 months. We have 2 more big trips lined up this year, a cruise up the Baltic this summer and Belieze this winter. So maybe knowing that I have these big trips coming up will help cool down my baby fever, hopefully! We LOVE to travel and I know that having a baby will change that dynamic. 

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