- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
I am somehow confused. Me and my partner have been dating since 7.5 years. I am 28, he is 29. We live together since 4 years. Most of our friends are our age – late 20ies, early 30ies and also have been unmarried in longterm relationships. Lately more and more of those friends get engaged. Not only those in the longterm relationships, but also friends who have only been dating since 1-3 years. Seriously, right now my facebook feed is only about engagements, bachelorette parties and weddings.
The thing is, I actually thought I have no urge to get married. At all. However, I start to worry about the state of our relationship and if we are wasting our time with each other. Apparently we are lacking something that all those couples have, who decided to take the next step and get married. I mean I know we love each other, but I don’t think it is normal to not consider at all to move forward in the relationship. Somehow it hurts my feelings, that he doesn’t want to marry me, altough I don’t even want to get married. Sounds bizarre, I know.
I also slowely start to feel my age, I mean I don’t feel “careless, early twenties, I have all the time in the world” any more. But he does. And this is actually the main point that worries me. Everything that we vaguely discuss is “in a couple of years”-be it possible children, investments, living situation, travelling. But I am almost sure that in 5 years from now we will still talk “in a few years” about all those things. I just would like to know where I am going with my life and I want to be somehow settled when I am in my 30ies. Seriously, sometimes I think that we are one of those couples who date for 10 years, and marriage and children never happen, then we break up and both of us have it all within 1-2 years with the new partner.
Maybe we are really lacking something, and maybe with a different man I would want to have it all, like definitely, and not maybe, in a couple of years, let’s see…
Is anybody in a similiar situation? I somehow have a hard time picturing myself being married to him and having a familiy with him. Isn’t this after so many years of dating even normal? Altough I am just 28 (or already) I feel like this is an age where people should know these kind of things, especially after dating for so long.