- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Well, my BS bag is pretty full at the moment. My bestie (we will call her Anna) is getting married at the end of July, and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor (she was mine) so I’m throwing her a shower.
I will back up a little though. She starts dating her FI (we will call him Brad) in September after having a summer where she admits she was rebounding from a 3 years relationship. Brad started off super cool. Nice, polite, yes ma’am, no ma’am kind of guy. A perfect Southern gentleman. He moved in with her after 2 weeks of dating. Anna, me, and another friend went on a girls weekend November, and she says, “I’m engaged!” I congratulate her, but I ask her how she can be sure about Brad since she’s only dated him for a month and a half. She said they have never felt this way about anyone before (given he has 3 kids from 3 different women, I have a hard time believing it).
I did what a friend should do: I voiced my opinion early on about how little they have dated, but I supported her decision to move forward. Since then stories have come forward about his drunken tyraids where he drinks way too much and then becomes an asshole (he yelled at me for not saying clear vases when I meant white). He calls her fat almost regularily, tells her she can’t wear her hair up for the wedding, won’t let her have fake flowers for the wedding (so none of us get flowers), dresses her in what he thinks she should wear (he made her get rid of all of the clothes her dead grandma gave her because they made her look old), and has started becoming really ugly towards my husband and I. He threw how much money he makes in my DH’s face, always acts like he knows more or is better (he especially likes to tell Darling Husband how much more he does for Anna than my Darling Husband does for me but we aren’t flaunt people that go around performing PDA and gloating about money and gifts), and even goes so far as to try to tell ME what to do (I don’t let that shit fly). I have told Anna several times and she says he is very “vocal” with his opinions. He’s independent.
We discussed this bridal shower back in February, the night he was drunk and gave me a hard time about the vases. We said the bridal shower would be the same day as the bachelorette party. The shower would be at my house and the bach would be at hers which means Brad would need to be gone from the house. He wrote this down. We watched him. I have reiterated this to him several times over the last few months. He says ok.
I get a text from Anna saying that Brad is pissed off that he is getting kicked out of HIS house (aka the house she inherited from her grandpa) and he isn’t standing for it. So to avoid conflict I told Anna we will just have the bach at my place. She said that she will try to talk some sense into him and that they have been fighting all week.
I am seriously getting tired of his crap attitude. There is a lot I didn’t include. He just thinks he can control everything and she is just so jaded by love. I voice my opinions because she always asks for them, but she still doesn’t get it. I really think they are going to have a tough road ahead if she married him. Her mom just divored her 3rd husband for being an aloholic, so I can’t believe Anna puts up with this. I guess I am not really looking for advice but more so just to vent, so if you made it this far thanks for listening. I am just so frustered with this, and it is becoming increasingly hard not to let loose on Anna about Brad and just be done. I love her, she’s my friend, and I guess I’m throwing the shower still because I care about her and it’s her life, but it saddens me.