(Closed) I don’t feel up to planning this, what’s wrong with me?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I understand, dear!  Some days, I just don’t feel like it either because all of my family/friends are from out of town.  It’s just no fun to do Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and crafts and whatnot by yourself.

Post # 4
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I feel like that a lot. I feel like I dont deserve a beautiful wedding and a shower and everything else that goes along with it.  I really didn’t have anything as a child happen except my parents divorce, but I have been like this most of my life. I have very low confidence too.  I have considered going to therapy but I just haven’t convinced myself too yet.  Maybe you should talk to someone again and maybe I should take my own advice lol.  I hope it gets better for you. 


Post # 5
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh this is definitely normal (in my book). I literally JUST wrote a post called Encouragement For Frustrated Brides. I felt this way quite a bit (we went through a lot of date changes, venue crap, budget issues) and finally picked a firm date – which felt wonderful. I still feel like this sometimes, but like the post I mentioned above says, it just feels really good to get things done. I just graduated in May, so I get the school stuff – I’m also starting another program in September, so I’m trying to get as much as possible done by then.

My advice is to make yourself be very organized. Get the big things out of the way, and make “mini deadlines” for smaller things so you don’t overwhelm yourself. A lot of wedding planning is just making decisions – which can be really hard. I almost have to MAKE myself be more decisive.

Good luck and congrats – don’t feel weird about it, a LOT of bees have felt or feel the same way!

Post # 6
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Welcome to the Club – some days I feel like I’m doing this all for myself, when Fiance is basically just someone to run stuff by, when the moms tell me they will get stuff done but don’t, etc.

Then some days I happy and giddy with excitement for the day and so pumped to be marrying my Fiance.

I think it’s normal and maybe you could start Skyping with Fiance every few days or so to discuss wedding stuff?  Bringing him on board will make him accountable and give the chance to get stuff off your chest.

Post # 7
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I hear ya! I feel like e-mail and facebook messaging everyone the invitations and wearing yoga pants to the ceremony.

It’s difficult when their is a lot of etiquette and expectations regarding weddings! There is always something to be worried about or to be choosing. Having a disonnected support system just makes it all ten times harder because you feel like its all you!

Just do what feels right when planning, make it simple and meaningful- don’t worry about what other people think.

Post # 8
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I can understand where you’re coming from! If my date was moved up, that would be automatic stress and frustration for me. I’m coming from somewhat of a similar place, in that leading up to our wedding, I will be finishing up a school year, writing report cards, packing up a classroom, and finishing grad school. We actually purposely picked the end of June just so there would be a few weeks in between the end of the year and our wedding!

  I think you’re just feeling a lot of stress. It’s hard when you don’t have a lot of help :-(. I would make a list of things you know you will need your FI’s help. Then, sit down with your Fiance and talk about a timeline of when you want to get those things accomplished.

  Good luck! I can understand where you’re coming from–my Fiance is currently living 5 hours away, so we’ve been having to do a lot of planning over the phone. I’m just really, really thankful for my mom!

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