(Closed) I don’t get annoyed with DH anymore, yay!

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
13564 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Fiance and I won’t live together till after the wedding, so I’m anticipating a solid period of time in which the little stuff will drive me crazy. Ahh, marriage!

Post # 17
Member
6997 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

haha i know how you feel! Darling Husband and I have been living together for 4 months now and we had issues for sure! now we are starting to get into a rythem of things – one thing i still cant get over is him leaving ice cubes on the floor. he says they will melt and evaporate, and in the mean time i walk through it! DRIVES ME BANANAS! he knows this because i would always comment on it before we lived together and i would be at his house…he tries to remember to pick them up – i always give him the evil eye when he drops one and i catch him. Though im sure i do things that bug him as well, like my makeup scattered all over the bathroom counter.

Luckily we have made it work as far as chores go – we each have our things we dont mind doing – he hasnt done a load of laundry since we moved in together, and i havent had to clean the bathroom 🙂 we both make an effort to clean the common areas and usually try and do a deep clean on saturday mornings.

Post # 19
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is kind of funny, but before I met my Fiance, I read this book called “What Shamu Taught me about Life, Love, and Marriage” – it’s mostly about tricks that large animal trainers use and how to apply them to your relationship (I have *never* told him about this, cause it sounds terrible when you say it out loud).

The main thing is to praise anything he does right and just ignore what he does wrong.  Even actions that are close to what you want deserve praise – so getting close to the hamper still earns praise, not a withering eye roll and mention that he never gets things right.  All animals want praise and affection and treats – and will work to get them!  Just this one thing about being super thankful for any help he gives around the house makes him want to do more. Super dorky, but it’s worked great for us.

Post # 20
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hear ya! It took Fiance and I a good year before we really found our rhythm living together. It takes time. Glad to hear you guys are finding yours!

Post # 21
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think at one point I wrote a post asking how to get my Fiance to do chores.

I’ve just given up at this point, and it’s made it easier (that sounds terrible LOL) Although he does really try. He does the dishes really well, but doesn’t clean up the kitchen like the rest of you discussed. He will do the laundry, but then leave it in a basket or in the dryer for days, so then it’s just an insane wrinkled mess that has to get re-washed anyways. 

The only thing that still really annoys me is his bathroom habits. There’s always razors, hair gel, and his beard hair everywhere. Plus when he drips toothpaste he doesn’t clean it and our sink is clear so it just makes it look super gross. Ugh.

Post # 23
Member
6997 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Keltaena: right? if it misses his glass he leaves it – seriously drives me up the wall because i always end up stepping in it and having to wipe up a little puddle of water – the sink is right there, pick it up and throw it in…it can melt there.

 

Post # 24
Member
972 posts
Busy bee

i’m moving in with my SO this friday.. and now i’m scared! my worst fear is soggy bathroom mats if i’m the second to take a shower 

i’m glad you guys found your rhythm, and i hope we will too sooner rather than later

Post # 25
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We lived together before the marriage and we had little annoyances, but just the basics. For whatever reason the little things that used to bother me I don’t mind so much. Its different knowing that I’m now stuck with it forever 🙂 I hope I keep the upbeat attitude I have now too!

Post # 26
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Living together takes some time to get into a routine!! Im glad that things are going so well yay!!

Post # 27
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

double post :/

Post # 28
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

Ladies, thank you for this post! I’m glad I’m not the only one. 🙂

Post # 29
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I hear you! We didn’t live together before the wedding, but since we were long distance we had spent weekends and vacations together over the 3 years we were dating and I thought that our living habits were pretty similar. The first month and a half or so were a bit rough as Darling Husband is pretty clean and can actually get pretty specific about how certain things are done. I ended up in tears more than once, until we had a good talk and I told him that I was cool with him giving me pointers on things but to be gentle about it, you know? He is quite good at keeping things clean, and even though I have taken it upon myself to do most of the cooking and cleaning (just for now since I’m not working) he is awesome about helping out! I am very thankful!

But I think now we’ve settled down and don’t have the same squabbles as before. A large contributor to the stress was probably that we got married right in tax season and he has his own bookkeeping business. Not the best timing, but we made it through! He can actually be incredibly sensitive to my needs and daily he does sweet little things for me that make me smile! I’m really enjoying the newlywed life!

Post # 30
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@firsttimemom: Hahaha!  That’s exactly how I feel.

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