(Closed) I don’t GET it.. can someone explain?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t mush over babies…they’re cute but i’m not exactly like, “oooo can i pet him? can i pick him up?! his feet! omg those toes!!!”. Meh. Peoples little puppies? YOU BET =].

I don’t think it’s adorable and cute and funny when kids do stupid/kid-ish stuff like you’re talking about. I find it annoying =. They’re always getting my nephew to make animal noises. I’m over it…not amusing. I just don’t go “omg that was so precious!” instead i say stuff like “my niece is drooling on herself” and grab a napkin for the drool. I do shake stuffed animals in front of her but i mean…i’m not a baby person I guess.

I wasn’t raised near them or around them and my parents always complaiend about babies being annoying. And i waited tables for 4 years. I am JADED, lemme tell ya.

You’re talking to another sciencey-brainy lady though.

I’m hoping something magical happens deep inside me when I realize that the thing growing inside me isn’t just undifferentiated cells and chromosomes melding together and multiplying, but it’s actually a baby. I like the idea of a baby–creating a family, growing it, nurturing it, etc. I just love other peoples’ babies… Maybe when i see it, growing inside me, i’ll go “okay it’s a baby!” and feel some sort of emotional draw to it. I’m sure I will. I am ridiculous with my cats. I have to be, right? =]

Post # 4
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

lol!! i was the same way when i was younger!! and after my own son grew out of that phase i was very uninterested, however now that 30 is knocking at my door i learn that my patience is so different and i’d love to have a little one… i told M yesterday and his response was “for what” LMAO!! i get over it if a stinky diaper is involved or if the kids are acting insane i think omg i’m crazy for even considering it.

Post # 5
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hmm, I’m not really sure how to answer your question. I definitely fall into the category of not understanding why parents oogle over every little thing their kid does. I’m not exactly super tolerate of kids, and while I do think they’re cute sometimes, most of the time, I find them to be a lot to handle, not at all amusing and kind of annoying.

BUT, that said, I’m fairly certain I want kids someday. If you had asked me this two years ago, I would have said, “No way, not for me.” I’m not sure if it’s because I’m suddenly maternal or whatever, but I do find the idea of raising a human being and helping them grow and make good choices, etc. is pretty cool. It’s the epitome of passing off your knowledge to another. Sometimes I wonder if I feel this way because I see so many parents doing things I would never do, or explain things to kids in a way I would never expain something. I also find it completely endearing that I would be doing all this with my husband. Sometimes I think he’s part of the reason I want kids. He would be an amazing father, and I want to share that experience with him.

But my husband and I have also decided that when we have kids, we won’t be that parent. The one who can’t talk about anything but their kid. The one who completely neglects themselves and is obsessed with baby land. The one who let’s their kids run around grocery stores with the “beginner shopper” carts or who think the toy aisle in Target is a playground. I would like to think my kids will be a huge, important part of my life, but that my husband and I will also remain true to ourselves.

Post # 6
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I don’t have kids, but I want at least one.  I think the big thing is that until you start caring for another life, one that you helped create, you have no idea how big your heart is, no idea how much you can love, and how far you will go to protect that person.  It’s something that does get triggered with most people when their child is born.  Not everyone wants kids, but that’s what I’m looking forward to with kids.

Post # 7
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

well, they’re like cute mini people and everything’s new to them so it makes it exciting.

Post # 8
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I dunno… but I think it has something to do with the baby smell πŸ˜‰

Post # 9
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ha ha!  Come on now, Coconut!  You’re in science, you know this one.  It’s genetically bred into us to want to further the existence of our species!  πŸ˜‰  

That said, don’t worry about not gooing over babies.  It’s not a necessary trait for being a good mother.  You’ll do just fine if you decide to go that route.

Post # 10
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think it’s pretty common not to understand the draw to babies.  And I also think, most childless people feel that way on some level.  I know I do.  For the longest time, I didn’t want kids.  Period.  Ever.  End of story, was considering getting my tubes tied.  Glad I didn’t do that, as now I do want kids, but I want kids in like 7 years, and if I suddenly got pregnant tomorrow (knock on wood THAT won’t happen), I think I would def be freaking out over not understanding.  I do think it will be one of those things you will get when you decide to have children.  And if you’re afraid of not understanding will stop you from having kids, then I think you will have to take a leap of faith, that once you are pregnant/have kids you will GET IT.  It’s kinda scary, but if you aren’t planning to have them in the next few years, I wouldn’t worry too much about it now.

Post # 11
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

wow…you just described me too!  So, I don’t have any answers for you…hopefully someone will have something insightful here.

Post # 12
1108 posts
Bumble bee

I can’t help you on this one.

When I volunteered at a hospital when I was younger, all of the girls would go “ZOMG TEH BAYBEEZ WE NEED TO LOOK AT THEM” and all wanted to work in the nursery.  

I was fine locked away in accounting doing paperwork.

I always said “i’ll see where my life is in 5 years”, which has now turned into “I’ll see how I feel between 30-35”.  BF was sooo certain he wanted two, and I was meh, and now Boyfriend or Best Friend is meh, so we will see between 30-35.  We figure our kids will be darn awesome, but people like to tell us that it’s highly likely they’re going to be autistic, since Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are all engineer-tastic.  What jerks. πŸ™

Some kids do strike my “oh aren’t you a cute mini-person!”-spot, but I think that’s just nature going “if it’s cute, you won’t want to throw a rock at it!”.

Post # 13
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m with you, and ironically enough I was just talking to my coworker about this yesterday. I just don’t see the appeal of having my own children, to me its not worth it. I remeber how much of a pain I was with my parents and it never ends! It may be harsh to say, and I’m certainly not anti-child, I actually find children adorable (some of the time LOL,) but I still have absolutely no appeal in having my own.

I think there are just some of us out there cut out to have children and those are the ones who “get it” then there are us who “don’t get it” and make the educated decision that we just arn’t cut out to be parents πŸ™‚   

Post # 15
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Interesting, but it seems like all my friends who do engineering like me feel like i do about it….all but like 1.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the type of people we are, underneath it. Like, I am certain types of personalities that lead me towards science/engineering…and i wonder if some of those qualities ALSO make me less gushy over babies and stuff. I want to say it’s like a severe form of practicality although that makes no sense….it’s not being practical or logical, it’s something along those lines where you go, “yes, it’s a baby. of course it’s going to babble” versus “OMG he’s BABBLING!!!!!!!”

Am i making sense? Or soundin’ dumb? =]

Post # 16
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think you are going to get the answer you want until you are pregnant.

I come from a HUGE family and I was sick of babies to tell you the truth…college was my escape. Then I got pregnant and I was a lot annoyed that my plans were going to have to change. Oh but then I felt my child move for the first time. I saw myself in the mirror and it was like my SPIRIT just got softer somehow. It was like..wow…there is a little person inside of me. And oh..when I looked into that squishy face for the first time and saw those beautiful eyes looking at me…it was pure love. It’s like holding your heart in your hands. Watching my daughter go from that squishy goodness =) to walking, crawling, starting school, drawing on my walls, hiding in the cabinets…has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I am a very analytical person as well..Comp Sci major, math minor….but there is no logic, rhyme, or reason to loving babies…it just is. Now don’t get me wrong…I still found OTHER people’s crying kids annoying…just not my own Laughing

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